SR 830: The 4 Hour School Day: Managing Multiple Kids – Durenda Wilson, Part 3 (Best of)

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Hey, everyone, this is Yvette Hampton. Welcome back to the Schoolhouse Rocked

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Podcast. Our family will be on the road some this summer, and so we thought

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we would bring you some of our best episodes, and we are excited to share

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these with you once again. But before we get into it, I want to say

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thank you again to our sponsor, BJU Press Homeschool. If you’re looking

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for great christian homeschool curriculum that will really help your child

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out at BJUPressHomeschool.com. dot. They’ll help equip you for a

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successful homeschool journey, and they’ll be with you every step of the way. Check them

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out again at BJUPressHomeschool.com now enjoy this

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best of episode from the Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast.

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Hey, everyone, this is Yvette Hampton. Welcome back to the Schoolhouse

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Rocked Podcast. I am so glad that you’ve joined us today on a

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Thursday, or, I don’t know, maybe you’re listening to this on a Monday.

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It airs on a Thursday. But we know that you guys listen and watch these

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videos and listen to the podcast on all kinds of different days of

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the week. So I shouldn’t always assume that you’re listening to it on Thursday

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morning when it first comes out. But whatever day

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of the week it is for you, I am so thankful and honored that you

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have chosen to spend some of your day with me. I know that there are

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many other things you could be listening to right now, and so we.

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We pray that this is worth your time and that you will be encouraged if

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you’ve listened to the first two episodes we did this week with Durenda.

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Doctor Durenda, I know that you were greatly encouraged, and so

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we’re gonna just bring some more that encouragement today

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as well. Durenda,

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you mentioned in part one that you have. You’ve been homeschooling

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for over 25 years. That’s a really long time. That’s

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amazing. That is probably longer than some of our homeschool moms

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have even been alive, if they’ve got little, teeny tiny ones.

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And could be now. I feel really old. Well, you don’t need to get

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old. I’ve been married 26 years. So here, let’s do it this way.

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If I’d had a baby the very first year that I was

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married, and since homeschooling starts at birth, I could actually be

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on year 25 of homeschooling. So I would be right there with you.

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But, well, okay, so does homeschooling start at birth, because then I’m at. I’m at

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30. Let’s say you’re at 30 then. Okay. I just upped it

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for you. Don’t you love all.

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I’m really making you into something else.

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I’m a doctor, Durenda, and now I’ve got 30 years of homeschooling. 30 years of

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homeschooling experience. Everybody needs a. Like this. Really. Thank you. Well, it’s

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why you keep me around, right? Oh, no. So many more.

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Oh, goodness. Okay, so doctor Doinda has been homeschooling for over 30

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years. And one of the questions that gets

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asked constantly is, how do

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moms homeschool multiple kids

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and multiple with multiple ages? And that’s a real. I mean, I only have

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two, and I find that even to be a challenge for myself.

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My girls are five years apart, and so, you know, they’re in. I

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have a high schooler in an elementary school child, and so that can

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even be a challenge for myself. But when you. When you’ve got more than two

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in the mix, if you have four or five or six or more, that can

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really, really be a challenge. And I know that moms do it all the time,

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but I would love for you to encourage those moms. And how have

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you kind of mastered that idea of teaching multiple

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kids? Bastard is the right word. Well, you’re a doctor. You’ve mastered it.

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I’m going with it. Some of it, you know, I mean,

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honestly, there is never a perfect homeschooling day. I always tell people in the

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thousands of days that we’ve homeschooled, there’s never been a perfect one. Yeah. But I

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will say that in the back of the day, when there were a lot of

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little ones, I just had to finally embrace the fact that

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a big part of my kids education was family life. Even

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my older kids, like we were, they were learning how to care for young children.

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You know, the Bible talks about caring for those who are weak, who’s weaker than

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a baby and a toddler. Right. So we’re really teaching

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them a lot of wonderful things by

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serving their families. And so that can. That is

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very much a part of their education. But when it comes down to the nuts

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and bolts of actually doing the schoolwork piece of it with all

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of those kids around, I think the first thing that I would

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encourage parents to do is encourage your kids

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to become independent learners as soon as possible, so you

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don’t want them leaning too hard on you for things that they can really do

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themselves. So we want to start out right away saying, okay, well, here’s your

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work. I’ll be right here if you need me. But you go ahead and

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get started, especially once they’re reading, writing and doing basic

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math. So they’re, when I say writing, able to write their letters

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and start to write sentences or even practicing their letters a lot of times,

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once they know how to do it, they can do it on their own. So

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you want look for those opportunities to let them do things on their own,

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and you can check back in with them again, let them know you’re right there

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if they need you, but you want to encourage independence as soon as

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possible. And the second thing we have to remember

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is that there are things that you can

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do together with them, but with,

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with everyone at the same time, and

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then tailor the other pieces to individual

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needs. For instance, we want to read aloud to our kids. Well, we

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can read aloud to all of them at the same time. And maybe that what

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we’re reading is maybe geared towards the little bit older kids. The

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younger kids are still listening, and it’s not as important that

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it be at their level, just that they’re there learning to listen to

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a book, you know? And so. And sometimes we’ll cut them loose a little. We’ll

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cut them loose sooner than the other kids. I heard someone describe it like riding

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a bus. You know, you let those little ones off sooner, then you let off

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the older ones. And so there’s some things you can do together, do what you

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can together, and then, you know, work

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towards having some of the, you know, other things that they need to

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do individually. The other thing that I did was I had older kids help with

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younger kids. So if I needed to spend time with

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my seven year old because he was struggling in a certain

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area and I knew I needed to spend some time with them every day, or

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maybe it just randomly that day, I need to.

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I can take an older child and say, hey, look, you’re done with your math.

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You’re not moving on to anything else yet. You’re getting ready to move on to

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something else. Will you just play with this baby for a little while, for 20

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minutes while I help your brother? So assigning an older child to sit with

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a younger one for 20 minutes at a time, I felt like that was really

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kind of the limit for the little one and for them.

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Sometimes I actually scheduled it so that while I

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was intentionally working with this child every single day,

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that this, this child was entertaining the two

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year old or playing with the baby or whatever, and sometimes I would even let

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them choose a special activity that they only did

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with that sibling. Like, maybe the, you know, the nine year old is

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playing with the two year old and she’s picked out a couple of activities that

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she thought that he would enjoy, and they only do it during

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their time together. So it’s special. It’s something she’s

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picked out. And right there, also, what I’m doing is I am nurturing sibling

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relationships. I’m saying, this little person needs you, and I’m. And

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I’m intentionally putting them together. So there’s a whole lot

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going on just in those simple dynamics. So

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it never, I feel like it probably never went super duper

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smooth. There was always, you know, something, but we just, you know, we just

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adapt and adjust along the way. Just don’t be afraid to

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engage those older kids to help with the younger ones.

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And, you know, like I said before, family life is educational. You know,

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fixing sandwiches for the other kids or reading with or to their younger

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siblings and changing diapers. Those are all legitimate,

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valid parts of their education. And the thing that I

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love about that is the kids learn right off the bat that the world does

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not revolve around them. And they start to, they

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encourages them to be other oriented. And that’s really what

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we want. You know, kids who are completely self consumed or always thinking about

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themselves. People who do that are not happy people.

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Happy people are thinking outside of themselves and

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about the needs around them. And so we’re actually encouraging our kids to be

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happy, and we’re showing them this is what it looks like to be

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happy. And because God says, you know, even Jesus said,

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I come to serve, be served. I came to serve. I

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want to go back to one of the things that you talked about. You talked

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about encouraging independence. And I know

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that with eight kids, I’m certain that of your

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eight, you had some who were just go

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getters. They could. You could give them an assignment and they would just run with

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it. And then you had other kids who were a little more insecure about

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their ability to do things, who would just say, you know, I can’t. I just.

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I can’t do this. And there might be tears and

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frustration. How can we help our kids

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when they’re feeling insecure about their ability to do things?

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How did you encourage your kids who fell into that category

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of just feeling like, I can’t do this, I don’t know what to do?

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Well, I think sometimes just taking a breather, hitting the pause

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button, stepping back, and maybe just letting them go do something else

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for a while just to reset their brains and

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then bring them back in and. And try again.

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Or if it’s an ongoing thing, I would just really have a

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conversation with them when they’re calm, not when they’re

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upset. You know, it could be a completely different time of the day. You cut

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them loose and you just sit down and talk about it later in the day

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over a cup of hot chocolate or something and just say, hey, tell

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me a little bit more about what’s happening when you do your math. I noticed

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that you’re getting discouraged and it seems like

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it’s hard for you. What about it do you not like what?

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What about it is hard for you? Start asking them questions and it’s

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amazing. Kids can tell you way more than you think they can.

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And often we and always be prayerful

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before you do it because the Lord can really give you discernment to sort of

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read between the lines. If your child isn’t maybe the best communicator or maybe isn’t

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quite connected to their feelings, because a lot of times they’re just

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emotional. And so just having

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that conversation with them, to me, has always been one of the most

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beneficial things. And just letting them know, listen, you’re learning.

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You’re still learning. And it’s okay if you don’t get this right now because you’re

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going to get it someday. You’ll get it eventually. It doesn’t have to be today,

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you know, but we just want to make sure that

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you are enjoying learning and we want to be able to help you

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if there’s some things that we can help you with. And so if you can

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help us understand what’s happening, that would be great. You

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know, something like that. Very positive. And

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just when we bring them into those conversations, it helps them

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own what they’re doing. And when they know they’ve got that kind of

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support and backup and that we’re problem solving

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together, that’s another thing, is we’re teaching them, listen, this is

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an obstacle, but it’s not one we can’t overcome together. Let’s put our heads together

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and figure it out. You’re showing them we can do

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this. We can take any problem and we can work through it and we can

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figure it out. We can problem solve. Yeah, you’re absolutely right about.

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About not doing it in the heat of the moment and finding a

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time where our kids are calm and they can think clearly without the

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frustration. I actually just had this exact thing happen last night with my youngest.

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She’s ten and she’s an excellent reader. We read the bible together

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every day as a family. And she, every night she reads part

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of whatever passage we’re reading. And I’m like, if you can read the

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bible, you can read anything, you know? And the words that are

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hard, that you know, I mean, they’re words that I can’t even pronounce in the

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Bible. Right, right. We sound them out together. Right,

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exactly. So we sound them out together and we work through it. But she was

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just feeling really insecure about her ability to read, which is so strange because she’s

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a great reader. But so I, it was bedtime. She

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wasn’t reading at the time. She wasn’t frustrated. And I just said, you know, I

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said, because she recently got roller skates. And I said, when you first

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got your roller skates, how good were you at roller skating? She’s like, not very

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good at all. I’m like, no, not, you were not good at all. You couldn’t

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even go down the driveway. You were falling. And, you know, she

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would go a few steps and then she would step onto the grass.

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Because you can’t roll on the grass. Right, right. And I said,

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now look at you. You’re getting really good at it because you’ve been

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practicing. And reading is the same way

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you practice. The more you read, the better you’re going to become at

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reading and the bigger books you’re going to read. And so she’s like,

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oh, all right, I’ll read, you know, but I always want to be

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like, just, just read a book. And she’s like, but I don’t want to. I’m

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not a good reader. And so just reminding her

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when it wasn’t a time of frustration for her

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that, you know, let’s look at the big picture here. You really can

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read, and you’ll become a better reader when

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you continue to practice reading. So let’s take a quick break. We’ll be

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right back. Have you tried CTC math yet with your

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child? Here’s a testimonial from another happy homeschool mom,

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Amber said, I’m absolutely thrilled with CTC math.

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It’s a rare find that I’ve used with my children for more than five years

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now. I have six children using CTC math, and each child has

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found it easy to navigate and very applicable. Thank you so much

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for all that you are doing in providing quality math lessons for my children.

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If you’re looking for a great online math program, visit

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ctcmath.com dot. That’s ctcmath.com

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dot. Are you looking for a homeschool curriculum

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that goes beyond textbooks and truly engages your children in the joy

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of learning? Apologia’s award winning curriculum is written

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by homeschool parents to specifically meet your needs and captivate your

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students with hands on activities and experiments that make learning

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unforgettable. With an easy to follow, open and go format,

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Apologia takes the stress out of planning and provides a simple

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roadmap that can easily be tailored to your family’s needs.

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Explore live classes or self paced courses designed to

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accommodate every student’s unique learning style, elevate your child’s

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education, spark their curiosity, and nurture a lifelong

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love for learning with apologia. Discover Apologia

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today@apologia.com. dot we are back

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with Durenda Wilson, and we’re talking about her new book called the four hour school

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Day. And the book is, is really just a book of encouragement for

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homeschoolers and really to help us kind of see the big picture of homeschooling in

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that it doesn’t look like what it looks like in the traditional

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school. So, Durenda, in this book, I mean,

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you’ve got there, it’s a wealth of information and

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wisdom and everything that you share in this book, lots of personal stories,

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what the Lord has taught you through your 30 years of homeschooling.

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What is the number one lesson that you would want people to take

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from this book? The four hour school day. And it’s called, again, called the

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four hour school day. How you and your kids can thrive

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in the homeschool life. What would you want people to walk away with when they

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read this book? I think I really, really want parents to

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understand that at the end of the day,

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you have to know how valuable your role is

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in your children’s lives. Providing safety and security

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and stability so that they can learn more naturally and

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easily is just, it’s so

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foundational to them as growing

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into whole, healthy adults. And,

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you know, really, it’s not about molding our children to the image we

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want them to become. It’s about working with who they already are, who

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God made them to be. And we have that, that

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ability to do that when we homeschool because we can

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provide the stability and the safety and the security that they need,

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again, so that they can learn naturally and easily. So

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it’s not about choosing the perfect curriculum or even giving

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them the most robust education, as it is about growing

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emotionally healthy, caring, contributing adults

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who are critical thinkers and problem solvers. And of course, at the end of the

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day for us as believers, we want them to own their

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walk with. We want them to be

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powerful for the kingdom of God. We want them to take their place

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in the body of Christ and do it well. And all of those

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things, I just believe, can be best done from home.

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Yeah. Amen. There’s no better place for kids. There’s no

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place like home. There’s no place like home. No place like

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home. No better place for them to be than under the

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instruction and discipleship and love of

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their parents and their family who God has placed them with. And that’s who, you

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know, I tell parents all the time, God has intentionally put you with

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your children in this specific time. You know, I know

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we live in some ways very challenging times, but in some ways very

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exciting times. And God has made all

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of us for such a time as this. That’s right. He planned for you to

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be the parents of these children during this time. That’s right. And I

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believe I’m seeing so many christian families.

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God is turning their heart back toward their children and back

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toward home. And we, you know, many, many a big part of the body of

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Christ needed a wake up call. Yep. And it’s happening. And it’s. It’s

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a wonderful, wonderful thing. And to see and to hear

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all that we are, it’s. It’s just super exciting because I

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believe that at the end of the day, it’s going to change the trajectory

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of the church. It’s going to change the trajectory of our nation.

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We need to not despise the day of small

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beginnings. And I think that’s where we are right now. And

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we get to be part of it by investing in our children and investing in

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the next generation. We got to think multi generationally. We have to

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stop thinking about just the here and now. We’ve got to think bigger than that.

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And because honestly, I tell people when you raise and homeschool

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your kids, you are raising and homeschooling your grandchildren and your great

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grandchildren. So think big because

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you were made for such a time as this. That’s right. It’s a legacy that

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we’re leaving for our kids and our grandkids, and you’re getting to see that firsthand,

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Durenda. I am. What a blessing. So thank you so much

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for your time this week. You are one of my favorite people in the whole

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world. You are such a blessing to me. I thank you for just.

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For your role in my life, but not just my life, for your role in

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the lives of, you know, thousands of homeschool moms around the

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world. It is such an, just such an encouragement

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to be able to talk to you and glean from your experience

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and take the wisdom that God has given you with home

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educating and raising up and discipling your kids. So thank you for

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all of the hard work and sweat and tears. And I

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know it’s been fun over the past couple years as you’ve been writing

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this, there have been many times where you and I have texted back and

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forth. You’ll just say, pray for me. I have. You know, this next chapter

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is due by Friday, and you’ll go lock yourself in a

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cave and write it. And so it’s very exciting to see

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it have come to complete, to completion. I love that I get

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to have been part of one of your, being one of your prayer warriors

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throughout this. Well, I sure appreciate it. That is, you know, they always say, you

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know, a book is never, you know, somebody authors it, but it’s a team effort

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and certainly the prayer support is huge. So thank you. Yeah,

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absolutely. Well, you guys pick up the book. It’s called the four hour school

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day, how you and your kids can thrive in the homeschool life. Make

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sure you pick up a copy. Go to dorindawilson.com. we will put

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the link in the show notes. And also, you like, quickly

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breezed by this, but you have a podcast yourself that’s very

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excellent and encouraging. It’s the Durenda Wilson podcast. Imagine

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that. Imagine that. Yes. This is not the Doctor Durenda,

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it’s Wilson podcast. I’ve got over 200

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episodes there, yet one of my favorite features is on the podcast page. There’s a

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search bar so you can put in keywords and something will

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likely come up. Yeah, we’ve talked about a lot of things after 200, lots of

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things. And one of the things I love most about your podcast is that you’re

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very, very transparent. And you’ve had several of your kids on

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the podcast with you who have also been transparent with some of the struggles

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that you guys have had as families, the joys that you’ve had of being a

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homeschool family, the things that God has taught you. And so, you

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know, it’s been a family endeavor for sure. So

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definitely listen to Durenda’s podcast as well. You will be encouraged. Thank you

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guys for listening again. Make sure that you are signed up for the schoolhouse rocked

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newsletter. And please just pray about whether or not the

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Lord would have you to help support the Skull house Rock to ministry

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financially. We cannot do what we’re doing without the support of our

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listeners and our sponsors. But we mostly have support from our listeners,

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and that is how we do what we do, and that is how this movie

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is getting into people’s hands. We are always in need of financial support. So if

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you believe in homeschooling, you want to see it continue to grow. You want to

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encourage homeschool families through the movie and through the podcast, please

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consider a monthly or one time donation. It’s a tax deductible

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donation. You can do that@schoolhouserocked.com. dot we would

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be so blessed by that. So thank you guys for listening. Have a great rest

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of your day, and we will see you back here on Monday. Bye bye.

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Laughing in the face of imposter syndrome and coming to you from the

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epicenter of manly overconfidence. I’m your host, Garritt

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Hampton, and you are listening to the Thinking Dad.

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Even if we’re able to push the evildoers and the

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totalitarians back for another generation, maybe if we work really

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hard, maybe even two generations, if they’ve got the young people,

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it’s over. I often think about Daniel’s parents,

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who you don’t hear anything about, but they must have

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laid down the foundation for Daniel to be able to go into

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Babylon and not fall. We’re in that very

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beginning part of the cycle for tough times. We’ve been fat and happy. We’ve been

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enjoying the, you know, we’re lazy because we enjoy so much freedom. We got all

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these blessings, and why would you go do the hard work? And so for a

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long time now, decades, we haven’t had to do the hard work. We’ve been living

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on the fumes of previous generations, paying the price, and we got to raise

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the bar and say, I’m willing to give more of my life. That’s my time.

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More of my money. Of course, that’s our fortune. And more of my sacred honor,

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which is my reputation. I’m willing to put it all on the line. Every single

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one of us has to be willing to do that. Join us for the first

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season of the Thinking Dad Thinking Dad.net.