SR 855: Homeschooling High School: Discovering Passions and Purpose – Carrie De Francisco, Part 1 (Through the Years Series)

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This homeschooling thing, it’s cute and all when they’re little, but you’re not going to

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do this in high school, right? And actually, my answer to

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them for years was an emphatic no, I am

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not doing high school because I’m not smart enough. I’m not

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organized enough. I’m certainly not patient enough. I had trouble in

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high school. So forget about being a high school teacher. What about the rest

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of us who barely got through chemistry and algebra ourselves, right?

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Hey, everyone, this is Yvette Hampton. Welcome back to the Schoolhouse Rocked

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Podcast. I am so excited to spend this week with you.

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And this is part of our homeschooling through the years

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series. And let me actually tell you a story about that. So we have

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Carrie De Francisco back with us, and she’s been with us before. And

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several months ago, she sent me a new book that she has, and it’s Homeschool

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Through High School. The subtitle of it is “A Handbook for Christian Education.”

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And I’m so excited about this book because, as you know, we just

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graduated our first daughter, and now I’ve got another upcoming high

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schooler. She’s in 8th, going in 8th grade. But really,

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she’s actually kind of 8th grade, 9th grade, taking some high school courses and stuff

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this year. And so it’s the perfect book for me

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because I’m going to tell you that even though we’ve done high school once, I

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still have questions, and there are still times where I’m like, I don’t know what

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I’m doing and I need help with this. So Carrie sent me this new book.

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And I thought, well, this would be great to do a whole episode about high

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school. And then I was like, well, if we’re going to do one about high

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school, we should do one about middle school. Well, if we’re going to do one

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about high school and middle school, we should do one about elementary. And if we’re

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going to do one about high school, middle school and elementary, well, then we

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should probably do preschool as well. And then I thought, I want to bookend it

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with two episodes. And so, like, this is how my brain

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works. And so then I thought, well, let’s bookend it with kind of an intro,

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which you guys have already heard when we talked about just kind of what really

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matters and setting the tone for our homeschooling. And then we’re going

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to bookend it on the other end with Rachael Carmen. And that

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episode is amazing as well because we’re calling that one the after years, which I

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don’t even know if that’s a real word, but I’ve made it a word. If

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it’s not an official word, the after years, after high school, your kids are

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going into adulthood. And what does that look like? And so Rachel comes on to

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encourage us with that. So all because of Carrie’s new book,

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Homeschool High School, it turned into this whole series. So thank you,

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Carrie, for the inspiration for that. You are so welcome. Yeah, yeah. I’m so

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excited about this series. It’s been great so far. I have so much

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enjoyed talking through all of the years. And as

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it would happen, I think you were my first interview

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scheduled, and then we had to cancel and reschedule twice, which

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almost never happens. And I ended up recording all the other, the

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preschool, elementary, middle school episodes first. And so I thought, you know,

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God’s timing is so perfect because it kind of worked its way into you

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being the last one of, you know, homeschooling

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through the years. And so anyway, God’s timing is good, and I’m excited to talk

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with you this week. But before Carrie introduces

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herself and I get into my conversation with her, I want to say thank you

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teach our kids. And so we have loved them, and there’s never been anything

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will help walk you through it. Bjupresshomeschool.com. Well,

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Carrie, welcome back to the Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast. It has been quite some time,

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and I’m so excited to have you back with me. For those who

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maybe missed your first episode, it’s been, I don’t know, maybe a

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year and a half, maybe two years ago. I don’t even remember. It’s been a

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long time. Tell our audience who you are and tell us a little bit

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about yourself and your homeschool journey. Well, thank you again, Yvette,

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for having me. I have been looking forward to this because I so

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enjoyed our first conversation about just how to simplify our

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homeschooling. And so I’m super excited we finally get to talk about the high

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school years because they were my favorite.

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But I guess I am in the after years. And

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so we homeschooled both of our kids, I like to say, from

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birth until high school graduation. And

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three years ago, when my youngest graduated from high school,

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I had to reluctantly remove my homeschooling mom hat and put on my

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retired homeschool mom hat. So I’m now a retired homeschooling

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mom. Absolutely love this time

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of watching my kids flourish. But yeah. So

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I have a podcast, coffee with Carrie. Homeschool podcast.

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I write a few books here and there. I speak here and there. And my

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favorite part is meeting with moms and kind of coaching them and encouraging them

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and helping them do whatever it needs in their

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homeschooling journey. Yeah, it’s one of my favorite

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things is when I meet moms like yourself who have been

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through the homeschooling years and you have

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such a passion to come alongside us younger moms who are

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still in the trenches and just say, you know, it’s like you’re just

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cheering us on from the sidelines and you can do this. I made it through.

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You can make it through, too. But not just cheering us on, actually

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mentoring and discipling in many ways

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these moms who are desperate for those things, we are

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desperate for help. We are desperate for encouragement. I am constantly desperate

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for encouragement and looking to other moms in my life who can

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just come alongside me and just say, okay, what is the issue?

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What do you need help with? Let me help walk you through it, because every

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family is different. So every family has different struggles when

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it comes to homeschooling. And I know high school is one of those struggles that

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many, many moms have. And most moms,

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I would say, fear the high school years because they do. We don’t

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know if we’re going to make it through. And even if you’re a high school

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teacher, right, maybe you’ve taught at the high school level, you

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probably have only taught a single subject, maybe a couple of subjects.

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I mean, like, there just are so many aspects to the high

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school years and it can be very, very frightening. And so a lot

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of moms I’ve talked to, many of them say, I’m going to homeschool up until

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8th grade, and then in high school I’m going to let my kids go off

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to high school so that they can be taught by the experts. Right. And

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oftentimes they think, well, my child is set. You know, they have a

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solid foundation for their faith. They know what they believe, they know why they believe

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it. And so I’m good to send them off in those high school

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years. And those can be some of the most

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difficult years for our kids to be being educated

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by a traditional school system. So talk, talk

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with me through kind of, maybe just kind of back yourself up to those years

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when your kids were little and they were going up into those high school years.

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Did you feel the same way? Were you like, oh, I don’t know if I

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can do this, and then maybe walk us through that time of your life?

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Oh, you bet. Because I was that mama. So when we started

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homeschooling, like I said, I loved the wonder years.

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I loved when they were younger. And in the beginning,

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we didn’t have an awful lot of support from both sides of our

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family, right? And so when we would meet for

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family dinners and holidays and stuff like

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that, different family members and neighbors, nosy neighbors, of

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course, would ask, well, this homeschooling thing, it’s

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cute and all when they’re little, but you’re not going to do this in high

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school, right? And actually, my answer to them for

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years was an emphatic, no, I am not doing high

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school because I’m not smart enough. I’m not organized enough. I’m certainly

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not patient enough. I had trouble in high school. So

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forget about being a high school teacher. What about the rest of us who barely

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got through chemistry and algebra ourselves? Right, right. So I was like,

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no, I’m not going to do high school. They’re going to go off to high

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school. But my kids and God had other

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plans. And so it was actually my kids who,

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when they got close to the 9th grade year, said, no, I want

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to keep homeschooling. This is a great gig. Why would I give this up? I

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mean, I have all this free time. I could do all the things that I

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absolutely love. My daughter loved the idea that she could kind of chart her

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own course because she knew exactly what she wanted to do and where she

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wanted to be post graduation. And

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so they were the ones that said, no, mom, let’s keep doing this.

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And so that’s why we continued. And

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when I say, and this is one of my favorite things to tell moms, especially

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the ones who are so afraid, is that God

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comes alongside you. He is truly their teacher. Right.

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Isaiah 50 413 it says that the Lord will be your children’s

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teacher and great shall be their peace. That was my mantra for the

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whole high school time. And he filled in the gaps. He filled

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in the holes and it truly was. I truly

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feel like God saved the best of our homeschooling journey for last.

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Wow. I really do feel like the high school years were

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just so, so precious for so many

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reasons. But it was just, I wouldn’t trade it in for anything.

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And I’m just so glad that I said yes. Yeah. Okay. Well, I want to

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know what the best for last was. But first, we’re going to take a break.

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today Apologia.com. We are

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back with Carrie. Okay, so you said they were the sweetest

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years. God saved the best for last. Talk about that. Why were the

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high school years for you so special? I think the main

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reason is because of the relationships. So you know this.

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If you’ve been homeschooling for a while, you know that the academics come. It’s icing

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on the cake. It’s the relationship

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that make home education what it is. And

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so when they’re in the high school years and you get

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to be right alongside them when they

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are becoming the people that God has created them to

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be, and they’re discovering their purpose in life. They’re

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discovering who God has created them to be. They’re discovering

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what they want to do and what God has called them to do. And you

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are right there alongside with them as they do

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that. And I just loved all the conversations we

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had. I hate that narrative that’s out there, that the teenage years, you know,

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when I would be in the grocery store and. And these old, cute little grandmas

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would see me with the little kids and they’d be like, oh, my gosh, they’re

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so cute. But just wait until they’re teenagers. And I

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used to think back then, I don’t want that to be our story. I don’t

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want that to be our narrative. That why, just because they’re teens,

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am I not going to have a great relationship with my kids? And so

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when they were in high school, we were able to really

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build that relationship that, yes, I was still their mom, but I

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was also one of their best friends. And so whatever

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they were struggling with, even their faith questions,

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challenges that they were having, their wins, we were the first

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ones that they shared those things with that they wanted to share

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those things with. And I’m not saying that if your kid, you know, goes

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to high school in a traditional brick and mortar that you’re not going to have

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a great relationship. I know many of moms who have a great

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relationship with their children. However, I do think

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the chances are just

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skyrocket when you’re homeschooling that you will

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have such a sweet relationship with your

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teens and then when they become young adults. Yeah, that was my

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favorite part. Yeah. Yeah. And it has been mine, too. But

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that doesn’t just happen by chance. I think that’s something

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we have to work really hard at, is to have that relationship with our kids.

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And I appreciate you saying that you, your friends, you know, your kids

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are your best friends as well as you being their mom. And I mentioned this,

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I don’t know if it was the elementary or middle school episode. I can’t remember

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now. They all kind of jumbled together in my head. But I

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oftentimes you hear moms say, I’m not their friend, I’m their mom.

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And I’m like, really? I mean, I’m my kid’s mom, but I’m also their

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friend. And my girls are my best friends, too. I love, love spending

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time with my girls most of the time, and we really enjoy one

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another. But it hasn’t happened by accident. It has been because

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I’ve put a lot of work and prayer into my relationship with them. My husband

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has put a lot of work into and prayer into his relationship with them,

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and we work together as a family. And so, yeah, I

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agree. I mean, the relationship is by far the most

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exciting part of homeschooling through these teen years. And it doesn’t mean

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that it’s always easy, but that’s, we’ve so

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often said, you know, relationship over reading, character over

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curriculum, those are the things that we really keep focused on in homeschooling because

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those relationships are what extend far beyond into their I,

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adult years. And so I want to keep that relationship with them. And

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I, I mean, I expect that I will always have a good relationship with them

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because I always have had a good relationship with them. And so, yeah,

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I love, love, love the relationship part of it. So let me ask

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you this. Maybe if there’s a mom who’s struggling, she’s got

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teenagers and she’s struggling in her relationship with her kids,

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how would you encourage that mom with those, in those teen years? Because those

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teen years are hard. I mean, our kids are, we with the middle school years

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episode is so much fun because we’re talking about how they’re just dealing with all

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the hormones and so many, like, they don’t even know what is happening in their

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bodies, into their bodies. And everything is just drama and

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chaos and confusion for them in a lot of ways.

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And I’ve seen as they move kind of into these high school years and get

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closer to the adult years, those emotions kind of even

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out a little bit. But I think oftentimes in those middle

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school years, those preteen and early teen years,

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there can be so much conflict in our relationship with our kids that when

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they get into the older teen years and into adulthood,

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sometimes we can damage that relationship with them because we’ve not known

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how to handle it as their parents. So really quickly talk to the mom

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who’s maybe she hasn’t really understood

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what was going on in those, those middle school years, and she’s maybe done some

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damage, you know, unintentionally to her relationship with

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her kids. How can she get that back? Well, a couple of things,

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and I’m no expert, okay. But I do think

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that if I do feel that sometimes the Lord

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calls a teen home or a mom to homeschool

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not because of the academics or because of what’s being taught in this, in their

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school system, it’s to restore relationships. And so I

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really do think that there are some moms and their

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kids that God’s calling them home so that they can have this

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nice, protective time together where they can

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work on and restore that relationship. So I do feel like one way to

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do it is for if they’re new to homeschooling or if

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there’s a lot of tension happening that they do take some

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time. We called it Sabbath schooling or deschooling, where

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they do just take some time away from the academic because

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that will relieve a lot of stress and a lot of conflict and a lot

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of tension because as homeschooling moms, we have to wear that hat.

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So if you remove that hat for a while and you just

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are intentional about spending time

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with your teen, right. And going on coffee dates or,

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like, for my daughter, we love watching spring baking championship, you

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know, just doing things together that’s not

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academic, and just having some time like that. Also,

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I do feel that when we are intentional

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about being interested in or actually loving

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the things they love and loving the

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people they love, so their friends really getting

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to know their friends and welcoming their friends into your

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home and really praying for them and talking with them, and

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then if they’re really into something, like, my son really loves

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music. And so some of the best conversations we had were in the car in

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LA traffic, right? What else are we gonna do except talk? And

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we would talk about all these different new songs that dropped and why he loved

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them. And it was nothing serious. You know, we did have serious, but we

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didn’t have these serious conversations. But it meant a lot to him

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that even though I didn’t know who half of these people were, I took an

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interest in the things that he loved. Right. And so

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I think that’s important, too, that if our teens see that what

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they love is important to us enough for us to put time and effort

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into it, that goes a long way, too. And then you wind up becoming.

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I’m known as Mama Dee because all of my kids friends would come

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over and I was looked at as their second mom, you know, because

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I just loved being around my kids friends, and I

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loved praying for them and supporting them. And so I think

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just a little bit of those things go a really, really

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long way in restoring relationships. Yeah. Yeah. You know, being

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hospitable to our kids friends is so

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important, and it. It builds the relationship with our own kids, but

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then we know who they’re spending time with. We get to know the character of

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their friends. And there have been situations where my girls have been friends

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with people, you know, with other girls that they’re not horrible, but

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I’m just like, um, you know, maybe. Maybe just

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take a step back, you know, a little bit of a step back from that

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friend, because I could see that there are some things that might be a little

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bit toxic or, you know, but we wouldn’t know that unless we’re spending

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time with their friends. And because we have that relationship with our

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kids, most of the time, they’re willing to listen and say,

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okay, yeah, I could see how that, you know, could be possible.

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So, yeah, that that relationship is so great. So, obviously,

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relationships are one of the greatest advantages of homeschooling high school.

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What are some of the other advantages of homeschooling through the high school years?

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Well, I think the most obvious one is that everything your

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teen is learning can be Christ centered and based on God’s

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truth. Right? So literally, classes they take,

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activities they do, curriculum they use, all of

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it can be centered around God’s word. And I

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think especially in today’s society. And what they’re going to be hit head

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on when they do leave the safety of our nest. They

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need to be grounded in truth, true,

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God honoring, Christ centered, spirit filled

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truth. And so for me, that’s the biggest advantage of

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homeschooling the high school years, because they are being bombarded

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with so, so much that you have their ear

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all the time, and so therefore, you can speak truth into

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them, just like I said in the car or when something was brought

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up in the news. And so I think that’s the biggest one right there. And

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that we can also use God’s standards

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for our teaching and not the world’s standards. So

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I think that that’s for the state standards. Right. So I think that’s a huge

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advantage. But I also think what we had talked about earlier, that they

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have so much freedom and flexibility that they,

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they have the time to discover their passions and

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their gifts and how they can use them to build God’s

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kingdom when they’re out in the world. But the best part is, because they’re

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homeschooling, they can start doing it in high school. They don’t

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have to wait until they are the magic age of 18 or

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they’re off to college to start making their mark in the world for God,

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they can start doing it right there during the high school year.

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So there are just so many, so many advantages. But those are

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some of my. My favorites. Yeah. As you were looking at

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curriculum for your high schoolers, and, and we were

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all about this at schoolhouse Rockton in our family is always teaching them from

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a biblical worldview. Did you use the same curriculum for both of

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your kids, or did you use different ones because they have different learning styles? How

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did you go about finding curriculum for each of them? Such a loaded

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question. And you and I have

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two kids, but those mamas out there that have three and four and

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five kids, you know, every kid is different, right? And so their

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learning styles are different, their needs are different. Their

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goals post graduation are going to be different.

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So we were a very eclectic homeschooling family,

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and so we use curriculum when

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one of the kids needed it. So, like, for instance, math, we usually used,

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you know, curriculum for that. Sometimes we use the box curriculum

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for science, but for the most part, we didn’t

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use straight up curriculum for all the years

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from the same, you know, publisher. I kind of went with what my kids,

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I actually sat down with my kids at the beginning of every year and said,

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what do you want to learn this year? How do you want to go about

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it? I would actually pick out, like, two or three different

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curriculums or courses or websites and that

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we could afford and that fits our criteria. Like,

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why are we homeschooling? Does this meet our why? And does

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this meet their goal and our budget? And I would give it to

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the kids and I would say, all right, pick the ones you want to use.

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And I let them decide, we’re going to use this math

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curriculum, but I want to take this science class with my friends, and I want

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to do this internship over here. And so I really

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got them involved in it. And so because of that, our

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experience as homeschooling the high school years was very eclectic.

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But I must say, by the time my son came along, we were pretty

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much full on unschoolers for his high school years. So there was

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just so much that he was interested in. It just didn’t make sense to

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use straight up curriculum for everything. If that makes sense.

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It does. And I actually want to park there. We’re out of time,

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so we’re going to leave a little bit of a cliffhanger because I want to

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talk about you being kind of unschooly, unschoolers, especially in those high

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school years, because I know that your children have both gone on to graduate

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college and, you know, God has really used the way that you

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homeschooled them to advance their academic careers.

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So we’ll talk about that on Wednesday. We’re out of time right now,

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Carrie, tell our listeners where they can find out more about

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you and your new book called Homeschool High School. A handbook

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for christian education. Here’s a copy of the book if you’re watching on video. Where

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can people find all things? Carrie DeFrancisco, all things. Just

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go to my website, coffeewithcarie.org, and that will bring you to

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my instagram, my podcast, how to get my books, all that kind of stuff.

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Okay? We’ll put that link in the show notes to make it easy for you

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guys. Carrie, thank you for being with me today. Thank you guys so much for

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00:24:11,568 –> 00:24:14,072
listening. Stay tuned to the very end to hear a clip of what’s coming up

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next on the podcast. And you can check out all things schoolhouse rocked on our

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00:24:17,776 –> 00:24:21,498
website, SchoolhouseRocked.com. you can stream the movie for free. You

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00:24:21,514 –> 00:24:25,250
can leave a donation for the ministry. You can read our blogs. We’ve got

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00:24:25,290 –> 00:24:29,058
lots of fun stuff on there, so check us out, SchoolhouseRocked.com. have

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00:24:29,074 –> 00:24:31,698
a great rest of your day and we will see you back here on Wednesday.

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Bye.

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The kids have so much extra time on their

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hands, and it’s a gift that it’s a gift. But

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moms often think they’re not doing enough or their kids aren’t doing

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enough because they’re done with their schoolwork or their formal

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lessons in less than 3 hours sometimes. And so they’re thinking, well,

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I got to add stuff in. They’re not doing enough, but they’re in that

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mindset of doing school at home instead of it being home

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education, that everything is a lesson.