SR 864: Courageous Parenting in Uncertain Times – Angie Tolpin, Part 1

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When we are pointing to someone else and endorsing them and saying,

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hey, listen to what they say. Take good notes, pay

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attention. Remember what they teach you. That’s endorsing it. And

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if we aren’t aware of what they’re teaching, we’re still going to be

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held accountable for having endorsed them. Hey, everyone, this

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is Yvette Hampton. Welcome back to the Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast. I

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am back this week with a brand new guest, and man, I have had such

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a good time sitting and chatting with her. I love getting to do this before

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I hit that record button, whenever I have a new guest. Well, when I have

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those who I know, too, I really. The fact of the matter is, I just

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like to talk. I like people and I enjoy talking to people. But I

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really, really enjoy talking with people who are so like minded and

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who are just part of the body of Christ as we see

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it, and who are on the same road that we are for

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discipleship and home education and family and all the things that we do

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here at Schoolhouse Rocked. So you are going to love getting to know my new

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friend, Angie Tolpin. But before we get into our conversation, I want to say thank

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you to our sponsor, BJU Press Homeschool. If you’re looking for great

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biblical worldview, check them out at

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BJUPressHomeschool.com. and if you’re not sure what you need

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for your kids, call them up, talk to one of their consultants and they will

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help walk you through it. BJUPressHomeschool.com.

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Well, welcome to my guest, Angie Tolpin. She is from

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the Be Courageous ministry, and she is, I know probably many

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of you are actually familiar with her because they’ve got a really popular podcast

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called Courageous Parenting, which she hosts with her husband, Isaac.

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So, Angie, for those who don’t know you, who are not yet familiar with

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Courageous Parenting, introduce yourself and your and your

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family to our audience. Oh, well, thank you so much for having me on,

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Yvette. I’m excited to be here and to meet all of your people that

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are listening. This is awesome. So Isaac and I started the podcast

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almost six years ago, and we started

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because we felt that there was this need for us to rise

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up and be courageous. We didn’t start it because we were like, oh, look at

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us, we’re being courageous. It was like, no, there was a stirring that was

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happening inside of us to be willing to be

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countercultural for Christ and to be unashamed of

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that we had been living counterculturally in a lot of ways because, you know,

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when you’re living as a biblical Christian, it can feel like you’re a salmon swimming

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upstream. Right. And there were a lot of seasons where we felt like we were

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parenting alone. And we had come out of a season where

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we were feeling that way and were really blessed with a strong biblical community

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and saw such a huge difference in our parenting,

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in our kids and all of it. Just being able to walk in biblical

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fellowship and realize, like, running the race alone

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is where the enemy wants you. Like, he wants us to

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be in each other’s lives and encouraging one another. And so

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we were actually encouraged by people we were walking a fellowship with to start a

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parenting podcast. Because at the time, there really weren’t a lot out

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there. There were a lot of mom podcasts that would talk about motherhood,

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but there wasn’t something where there was a husband and a wife

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talking about relevant issues regarding parenting,

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where husbands and wives could sit and listen together, or they can listen separately and

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then decide things. Right. And so that really was our

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heart because I was doing ministry, like blogging and things on my

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own. And Isaac, when he decided to join me in it, it

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just. That’s when it took off. That’s when the Lord really started to bless it.

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Yeah. Love it. And you have a few kids. How many? We have

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nine. Just so everyone

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knows, because there’s so many stereotypes that go with that. Right? Like when you high

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school, when you have nine. Yeah, there’s all the things.

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And we do live on a homestead, a small one, but we

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love it. We have 40 chickens and two

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cows, and we have a big garden, and I love

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to do that. That’s my jam. I love gardening. But

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when we started out, we didn’t have an agenda to have a big family. We

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don’t come from big families. We didn’t know big families. We

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actually thought homeschoolers were weird. So I was very

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reluctant to step into that whole category.

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Um, but our story is just one of seeking the Lord

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throughout our marriage and not making decisions out of selfish

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reasons, but really, like, wrestling with the hard things together.

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And, you know, if there are any couples out there listening that are struggling right

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now and not sure, should I have another one? I think that the best

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advice I could give you that’s biblical is to make sure that you’re in alignment.

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Like, don’t make a permanent decision unless you’ve taken it to the

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Lord and you’re in alignment with him and each other. And that that was

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kind of our rule. Like, there was one rule, and that was it. I love

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that. But you have an uneven number now, so

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nine. I mean, it seems like ten would just make a nice, round

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number. It would, but, you know, I’m also a

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grandma now, and I’m really loving that season. And

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so it’s. We’re in this new kind

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of transition, you know, as we’re getting older, and

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it’s. Yeah, we’ll see what God does.

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We’re surrendered to him and open minded.

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But right now, I’m trying to get my health back in order as

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well. Both Isaac and I had long haul Covid, which is a whole thing. That

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was last year. Oh, that’s no fun. How old

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is your oldest, and how old is your youngest? So my oldest is gonna be

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24 in August. Okay. And my youngest is three. Oh,

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wow. Okay. Big gap. Yeah. We

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had our first six kids in the first ten years, and then we had

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almost six years, and then we had five more pregnancies.

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So I’ve also lost a couple babies, and they’re in heaven

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with the Lord, and that’s been a whole journey as

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well, that we’ve shared a lot about that on the podcast.

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And, yeah, I’m there with you.

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So I often think about, we have two babies

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in heaven, too, and I often just wonder, like, will we get to meet them

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when we get there? You know, all the. Some of those things you don’t

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fully know, you can hope, but I know.

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What I do know is that when we get to heaven, there will be no

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suffering or pain. So it’s not like I’m gonna be there, like, looking around every

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corner, where’s my babies? Anxious. Right, right.

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It’s gonna be perfect. But, man, I just always wondering, you know,

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were they boys or girls or, you know, what would their names have been? All

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the things, you know? But I know that God is so faithful,

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um, with the children that he has given us, and so. So I love that.

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And I love that you get to be a grandparent. That I have heard the

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word on the street is that grandparenting is absolutely amazing,

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and it’s pretty amazing.

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We’re very proud of our son. Austin and his wife, Caroline, are

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amazing parents, and that’s just such a joy when they’re parenting biblically

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and confidently and as a team, and they’re doing such a good job,

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and I’m so proud of them. They’re amazing. And so, of

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course, that makes the joy of grandparenting even

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more sweet. Right. When they’re, like, intentional, and. Yeah,

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yeah, I love that. So, as I’ve been looking at

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your, all of your stuff, you have a lot of. Just

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so many good resources and lots of good stuff on your website.

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And as I was looking at your stuff, one of the statements that really stood

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out to me, it says that you’re equipping God’s people to be courageous and uncertain

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times. And then in your bio, it says that your passion is equipping wives

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and moms to leave a legacy that glorifies the father.

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And really, everything that you’re doing, along with your

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husband and with your family, is you are working to equip parents

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to be courageous in this crazy world in which

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we’re living. And it really does take courage to

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raise up our kids, to know Jesus, to love Jesus, to follow Jesus,

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and to be countercultural, because that’s what we’re called to

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be. And it is so stinking hard. In my

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mind, I want to think it’s easy, like, well, all we have to do is

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just go the other way than what the world is going. Yeah, but our

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kids are surrounded by the world. I mean, it’s just so very

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difficult. And so I want you to talk for a few minutes on what it

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looks like to raise these resilient kids and these kids who really

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are counterculture, who are, you know, were being courageous

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and teaching them to be courageous, to stand against

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these crazy times that we’re in. Yeah. Well,

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I think that recently, Isaac and I did a visioneering project. It’s one

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of our favorite things to do on date nights. We love to just sit and

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dream and talk about ministry and visioneer and what is God,

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you know, really laying on our hearts. And we actually just

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realized that this whole time we’ve been focused on parenting and focused

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on parents and equipping parents, because we recognize that they have the greatest

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influence in their children’s lives. And the message on the

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street is that parental rights are actually

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not very important to the government. Right,

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right. And so there’s a lot of lies. There’s a lot of

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temptation for us to step back and to overdelegate or to think,

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oh, that’s not my responsibility. That’s somebody else’s.

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And really, as parents, we need to wake up and

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recognize that our children were given to us by God,

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and we’re gonna be held accountable by him for what we

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teach. And it’s not just what we teach. It’s when we are

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pointing to someone else and endorsing them and saying, hey,

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listen to what they say. Take good notes. Pay attention.

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Remember what they teach you. That’s endorsing it. And if we

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aren’t aware of what they’re teaching, we’re still gonna be held accountable for

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having endorsed them. And so it’s a call

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for parents to really, like, evaluate. Am I taking

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my jurisdiction as a parent really

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serious? You know, but then ultimately, when

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we were evaluating this, we realized what we do is actually

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children’s ministry, if you think about it, because

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parents are discipling their children, really, that’s, like, the heart of it, is

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encouraging parents to talk about the. The issues of today

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from scripture. What is a biblical worldview? There’s so

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many awesome organizations that have resources out there for

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parents to utilize if they’re not feeling confident and equipped

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to be able to do that. So a lot of times, we will point people

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to different tools that have been helpful for us. But

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I will say there’s this element of, like, even as a pastor,

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my husband oftentimes says, every father is a pastor of

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his family. So rise up. Men like you are the shepherd

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of your family. And so recognizing

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that responsibility and being willing to start

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learning, and if you feel unconfident, finding a mentor. And so that’s

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why we have, like, the parenting mentor program, which is much more in depth

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than the podcast. And it’s like a curriculum where we go over

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specific topics that build on each other. And not only

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that, we have lives with Q and A’s that are 90 minutes, and so we

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can engage with the people that are in there, because a lot of people, the

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biggest struggle is that they’re having a hard time finding Titus two men and women

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who will mentor them. Right? Yeah, I hear that all the time. Women are constantly,

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like, I’ve asked five women, they’ve all said no. You know what I

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mean? And it’s a hard thing. And so, while I still

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believe, we both still believe in real life is the most effective. It’s God’s

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design within the church. The reality is that’s not happening

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the way that God wants it to. So we’re just, like, raising our hand

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and saying, okay, well, we’re not perfect, but we’ve learned a lot

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in 24 years with nine kids, so we just love Jesus

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in the Bible. Let’s talk, you know? Yeah. And there’s been

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so much fruit that’s come out of it. Praise the Lord. Like, that’s all

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him. But it’s the same thing as well,

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regarding parenting. A lot of churches, like pastors, don’t have

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that bandwidth, right? To be discipling parents in

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biblical parenting. And to be honest, it’s sad, but a lot of

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pastors also didn’t do it well. And that’s

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why there’s this whole pk stigma that’s out there. Right.

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I mean, truthfully, it’s a problem. And so, but the Bible is also

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really clear when it comes to eldership. You know, there’s a qualification

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for elders for a reason. If a man can’t manage his household, he shouldn’t

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be managing the house of God. And so, like,

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really our vision is actually so much bigger. It’s

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like we want men to be qualified so that they’re activated in

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their churches. Right, right. Yeah. That the family is

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actually image bearing of the family of God. This is where kids practice being a

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part of a member of something so that they’re equipped to be a

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member of the body of Christ. And then when it comes to the world and

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how to navigate that, like, we have to be aware as parents

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that we have so many opportunities every day, throughout the

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day to show our kids what it means to actually be a biblical

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Christianity. As we’re interacting with the cashier, at the grocery store,

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at the post office, with the garbage man, how we take care of

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our property, loving our neighbor. Like, there’s just so many different

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ways that we can show them that we’re going to actually

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do what we say. Yeah. And that I think is huge for

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this generation because a lot of us grew up with the generation of do

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as I say, not as I do parent, you know, parenting.

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And that’s just, it’s not biblical. That’s hypocrisy. And so

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we need to first look at ourselves and go, okay, am I walking

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in a way that is God glorifying? And then now I

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need to teach it to my kids. So, yeah, good stuff. Let’s take

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a break. We’ll be right back.

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We are back with Angie. You talked before the break, you were talking

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about parents often not feeling confident or equipped to raise up this next

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generation. And I think that that’s where a lot of parents get

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stuck, is they’re like, yeah, I know I need to be intentional.

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I know that I need to raise up my kids to know and love Jesus,

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but I don’t know how. And so I’m going to send them off to a

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christian school or to the church or to the youth group or the Sunday school

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or to whatever it is. And then on top of that, you have

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men who definitely don’t feel equipped because we’ve

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told them as a society that they’re not, you know, they’re good for just bringing

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home a paycheck. And so dads and husbands are often feeling

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like they don’t know what to do. They’re not equipped, which, by the way, I’m

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going to just give a little plug here. This is why my husband and

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Angie’s husband both have podcasts that are geared

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towards men. My husband’s is the thinking dad. And Isaac says,

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resolute man. Is that what it’s called? Yeah, that’s correct. Yeah. And so, I mean,

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these are both podcasts that are for men to help disciple men. Because like you

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said, angie, there are lots of people

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who, like, they need those tightest two people, men and women, in their lives,

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but they might not have that in person. And so it’s why we

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do what we do at the school house watch podcast. It’s why you do what

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you do with courageous parenting and why we’re doing our best to encourage

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people. But really, what it comes down to, as you said, is the word of

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God. Yeah. And so we’ve got to be studying God’s word. We have to know

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his word. If we don’t know it, we can’t teach it to our kids.

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And it doesn’t mean you have to know and understand everything about the Bible,

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but you have to be serious again, you talked about being that

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hypocritical parent, right? Do as I say, not as I do,

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kid. Go read your Bible. Go study God’s word while I go

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dishes. Flip through Facebook or do dishes or do laundry or do

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something. And we need to be showing our kids the importance of

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reading God’s word, sharing with them. This is what God showed me in my Bible

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reading today, being super engaged in our conversations with our

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kids so that they know that that is the most important thing is for

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them to be growing in their knowledge and understanding of God’s word so that they

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can grow in their love for him. And we should be doing the same. We’re

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never going to arrive, right? We’re never going to get to that point where we’re

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like, I know it all. I’ve learned the whole Bible front to

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back. I mean, there’s so much to know. Like, the older I get to, the

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more I think, I don’t know. Does

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that make sense? Totally. And truthfully, the more

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hungry I get to read it because it just. I don’t

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know, it’s exciting. Walking with the Lord is an

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adventure. And our kids need to see that kind of excitement

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within us, and they need to be introduced to him as

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Jesus, their savior, their friend, the author of a letter to them.

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Like, all these things that we all know and have heard in our lives

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many times over, but is it something that is the center and the

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focus of our family life that drives us, that

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leads us, that guides us in all the things that we do?

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And a lot of times, I find that christians

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will go to church and they’ll listen to sermons, and they’ll just

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take what pastors say from the pulpit. And there’s

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unfortunately not enough deep expository teaching.

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Right. And there’s more topical, like

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current events. This is what’s happening. And, oh, the Bible says this.

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Right. And while I do believe that we need

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to equip the church and recognize where the enemy is

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at play in society today. And what does God’s word say

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that we should respond with? Right. That is very. That’s

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equipping. And shepherds of the church should be equipping their people

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in that way. There’s a need for us to just be reading

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the word because we want to know God more, and we want to know who

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he. We want to know who he is, we want to understand him, we want

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to love him more, we want to obey him. And that, like, desire of,

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it’s about him and less about me. And that

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translates with your children in regards to why they

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would pursue a personal relationship with God in the first place. And

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so if we don’t have that, and it’s just about, you know, going to church

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and checking things off a box and, oh, I did my Bible study this week,

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and, oh, I did this. That’s a. There’s.

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There’s. There’s a missing the mark, in a sense, that’s

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happening where it’s the relational aspect of. And I’m not

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saying that, you know, it’s all about, you

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know, experiencing God in that way. I think

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there’s something to be said about experiencing God and him opening your eyes when

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you’re reading the scriptures and that he’s speaking to you through his

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own words. Right? Like, as you’re reading Matthew or John, you’re.

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You’re hearing Jesus and being willing to say,

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hey, kids, this is really neat. Let’s. Let’s listen to what Jesus said to

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us in the Bible. And this applies to this,

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doesn’t it? Or can one of you guys give me an example of one time

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when you were struggling with being worried and. You know what I mean? And then

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going back to that scripture, do not worry about tomorrow making it

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alive and relevant for our kids so that they don’t grow up and then say,

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oh, I don’t have time for God now. I’ll do that when I’m an adult

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or when I’m married, which I’ve heard so many times from

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youth or from other parents when they’re like, well, we’re parents

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now. So we realize we really need to start getting back into church

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because we were raised going to church and it was good for us. And

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like, you know, whatever gets them back

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coming towards the Lord is it can be used by the Holy Spirit, and that’s

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a good thing. But really at the heart of it

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is our kids are not going to stand firm in

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biblical truth if they don’t have a heart

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relationship with the Lord. That’s right. Like John 14,

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three times Jesus says, if you love me, you will obey

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me. That’s right. He says, obey me and I will know you love me and

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my father will dwell in you. And so there’s like three different times in one

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chapter alone. That’s what we should want as parents, not for our kids to

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obey us because they’re afraid of us or afraid of a

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consequence that our kids wouldn’t obey us because

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just because we’re the parents, but that they would want to obey us because they

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love us. And Jesus wants that same kind of

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relationship with all of us. And so when we’re modeling and

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going through our day as parents, like, recognizing we have so many

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opportunities to point our kids back to the Lord over and over and over again

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to where if they are like older and they’re not

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experiencing God, they’re not experiencing him throughout their

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everyday, where their car breaks down and they

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pray or they just look out the window

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and they thank the Lord for the beauty in his

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creation, or it doesn’t matter what it is. If they aren’t thinking

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about the Lord, talking to him throughout the day, taking time out

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of their busy schedule to actually study the word, to spend time

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quietly in prayer, these different spiritual disciplines, like, they should miss

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it, but they’re not going to miss it when they’re older, if they didn’t experience

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it when they were growing up. Right. Yeah. It’s kind of like what you were

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saying with the Bible. Like you’re not going to recall what you haven’t read. You’re

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not going to remember and be able to recite something that you haven’t read before.

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Right, right. And it’s the same thing with spiritual disciplines, with our

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children. Yeah, good stuff. We are out

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of time, but we’re going to come back and talk more about this. We have

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lots more to talk about because Angie is a wealth of information and

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experience and wisdom. And so I am loving this conversation. Angie,

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tell our listeners where they can find out more about you and your ministry.

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Well, if you are on social media, you can find me at courageous mom or

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parenting. You can also find all the things the podcast,

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Isaac’s podcast, our parenting mentor program courses

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all@becorrageousministry.org dot okay, we’ll put. Those

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links in the show notes, as always, to make it easy for you guys. Thank

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you guys so much for listening. Stay tuned to the very end to hear what’s

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coming up next on the podcast. And if you’ve not yet watched the movie Schoolhouse

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Rocked, you can stream it for free SchoolhouseRocked.com and share it with

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your friends. It will be a great encouragement to you and to them. We love

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you and we will see you back here next time. Bye.

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It’s in those mountaintop experiences where we have to be

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pursuing God so that we’re equipped and ready

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when those trials come. And that’s really like,

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that’s the nugget for raising kids who are going to be resilient. Are they

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pursuing God? Did they see their purpose as a kid, as a youth,

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as a young adult? Like, my life doesn’t start when I get married and I

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have kids. No. God has a purpose and a plan for me right now,

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and part of it is preparing, and I prepare best by reading goddess word.