SR 870: Heart Schooling: From Homeschooling to Discipleship – Leslie Nunnery, Part 1

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How does it look when, biblically speaking, you start aligning with

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God’s word and then really practically living that out within your

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family? And what we have found is the offshoot of heart

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schooling is not only do you have your kids hearts, but also

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we still maintain a discipleship relationship with them.

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Hey, everyone, this is Yvette Hampton. Welcome back to the Schoolhouse Rocked

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Podcast. I am so glad you are with me this week. I have

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my sweet friend Leslie Nunnery on with me, and some of you may know who

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she is, some of you may not. So if you are new to the world

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of Leslie Nunnery, you will get to know her this week, and you are going

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to be so encouraged by her. But before we get into our conversation, I want

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to thank our sponsor, BJU Press Homeschool. If you’re looking for great

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homeschool curriculum from a strong biblical worldview, check

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them out at bjupresshomeschool.com. and they will truly

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help equip you for a successful homeschool journey. They will

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encourage a love of learning with your children, child, whatever

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you have. And it doesn’t matter if you are doing an independent learning style or

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a parent led approach. Whatever is best for your family, they’ve got something for you.

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So check them out

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bjupresshomeschool.com. Well, welcome to Leslie Nunnery, who, by the way, happens to live

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in the same town where Bob Jones University is and where

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all the BJU Press Homeschool stuff is published and

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produced. And so I know that you have a good relationship with them and you’re

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close. You’re like neighbors with BJU. We

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are. We are, actually. Yeah, I was going to chime in. We have used a

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lot of BJU Press stuff. We know a lot of the

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writers at BJU Press. Just solid, amazing group of people. So

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I’m glad that you guys are working together. They’re a great

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group. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Well, Leslie, for those who may not know who Leslie Nunnery

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is, who, by the way, is one of our cast members in the

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movie schoolhouse rocked the homeschool revolution. If you’ve not seen the movie yet, good

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golly, you guys, it’s free. It’s so easy to access.

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Go to our website, SchoolhouseRocked.com, and you can

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watch Leslie in the movie. But for those who don’t know you, Leslie,

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introduce yourself and your ministry and your family and what it is that you do.

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All right, well, thank you so much, and thank you for having me here. We

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were chatting before. It’s been too long since we talked, and it was good to

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catch up, and I’m just so grateful to be on your show today.

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But, yes, I am Leslie Nunnery. My husband, David, and I started a

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ministry called teach them diligently, which is designed to bring

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resources and experiences to equip christian

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homeschool parents. So we really focus on

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encouraging and equipping parents to view their

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calling as discipleship. And homeschooling is a great tool for that.

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Homeschooling just is a phenomenal tool for a

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discipleship focused parent. And so we want to help parents do that. Well,

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I am the mom of four. My kids are largely adult

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now. I have a 25 year old, a 23 year old, a 21 year old,

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and a 17 year old. So I’m entering my last year of homeschooling

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high school, which seems so bizarre,

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but it’s been fun to kind of transition into this new stage.

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Two of my kids are married, and we’re just having a good time

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learning what normal looks like in this new phase. Yeah,

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it is a whole different phase when your kids launch from high school

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into adulthood. And so. So it’s. It’s fun. I love that there’s moms like yourself

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who have gone before me, and you’re kind of paving the way. And

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I can talk to you and say, okay, how did you handle this or that?

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And, you know, I know that your heart. I mean, you. We’ve

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known each other for many years now, Leslie, and I know that your heart

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is so much for parents and for

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discipleship and for just parents leading their kids

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to Jesus. And we do that, you know,

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partly through home education. But really, it’s just a lifestyle.

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It’s kind of what we do. And so you talk a lot about

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heart school. As a matter of fact, you have a new book that has

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come out, new wish book called Heart school. What

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exactly is heart school? Talk a little bit about what that is. And.

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And the full title of the book is Heart school. How amazing. Parents

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become excellent home educators. So walk us through that.

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And what exactly do you mean by heart school? So, hard

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schooling is the way that we have boiled down how

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we approached life. We struggled with teach them diligently

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to explain what is discipleship focused

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parenting. How does homeschooling fit into that? And so in.

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Actually, in 2020, when the world shut down, we had to cancel six

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events that year. David and I were talking,

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and he was like, we need to come up with

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something. And I just, like, out of the blue was like, well,

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what we do is hard school. We hard schooled our kids, and we’re

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like, oh, yeah, we did. Hard schooling, though,

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has really gotten a lot of traction because I believe that

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every parent, no matter what educational modality

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that they use in their family, is called to be a heart schooler. We are

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called to go for the hearts of our kids. And then I.

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So the book itself walks through very practically

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how that looks. What does it look like when you recognize what your call

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is and you remove all this other stuff that’s competing against it because you

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can only have one top priority, one

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big thing that you’re going for? How does it look when you

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start realigning your thinking with that call and you start lining things up so that

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you don’t have friction in your house and it gives you so much peace and

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confidence in what you’re doing and just go through. There are

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seven different things that we go through that. How does it look when,

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biblically speaking, you start aligning with God’s word and then

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really practically living that out within your family? And what

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we have found is the offshoot of heart schooling is not only do

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you have your kids hearts, you have a great relationship with them. Like I was

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telling you, our kids are largely adults. They have launched, and

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yet they’re still at my house all the time. We have a great relationship with

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them, but also we still maintain a

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discipleship relationship with them. They’re still coming to us for counsel. We’re

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still, it shifts. It changes a little bit. But you still

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have that platform. And so our heart and our goal through

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heart school is to teach parents how to use the platform that God has given,

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given them for the glory of God and also for the good of their

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kids. Yeah, you talk about the platform God has given us, and he has

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literally given us a platform and instructed us to use that

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platform. And I so often still hear

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parents say, you know, I just don’t know if I’m called to homeschooling. And I’m

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like, oh, you are, you are, one way or the other.

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Yeah. You are called to disciple the hearts of your children when they

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sleep, when they walk, when they stand, when they go about their day.

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That is what we are called to do as parents is to

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disciple their hearts. And so you said that there are seven

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different things to focus on. Can we go through those

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seven things? Oh, yeah, absolutely. I would love it.

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The first thing, and I’ve kind of shifted, actually, I’m going to do an

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edit when I’m almost out of copies of the book. I’m going to change a

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word there because I found these are more essential attributes. If you’re looking

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for a successful Hart school family and you’re looking even at families in your

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church, that you’re like, I want to be like them. I would bet you

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anything you’re going to find these seven attributes in them.

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So these are seven things that we really can all

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start aspiring to, start really focusing on in

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our families, and it will make a huge, huge difference. The first,

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as I noted, was you recognize your call. Your primary

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call as a Christian is to bring your children

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to Christ. That is your primary call. You

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are to, you know, we all, as believers have the

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same mission. We’re to go into all the world and preach the gospel and make

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disciples. And David and I talk all the time about how your

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home is your Jerusalem. That is ground zero for the

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gospel work that you’re called to do. So that is what you’ve got

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to remember first and foremost, is you’ve got to train

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them biblically, give them a foundation for their faith, bring

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them to Jesus, help them know him and love them, and give them, you

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know, really something to stand on that they can build their own faith

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on, because they’re, you know, we hear it all the time. There are no grandchildren

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in God’s family. Just because you know the Lord, you cannot make

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the assumption that your kids do. And so really

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focusing in on number one, I am called to bring my

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kids to Jesus. I am called to parent them. Well, you can’t allow

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homeschooling and homeschool teacher, homeschool principal, whatever,

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to be really to have collisions with your role as a

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parent. And that’s where I think a lot of families go

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awry. And I think that’s what people are really scared of when they think about

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homeschooling is this is actually going to hurt my family,

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but not when you recognize your call and you keep it all really

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aligned that way. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, that’s not a call just for home

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education, but no, for life in general. Garrett and I watched this short

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documentary last night, I don’t know, came out 1012 years

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ago, something like that called divided. I don’t know if you’ve seen it, but it’s

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a documentary that’s really about kind of the church and youth groups and things like

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that. And they’re talking about how there’s nowhere in

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the Bible that talks about youth groups. There’s nowhere in the Bible that talks about

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sending our kids off to school. There’s nowhere in the Bible that talks about separating

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the family for means of discipleship. Like the Bible

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talks about the church, but it’s always the family, right, as a whole. And so

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as parents, it’s not even just putting them in youth

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group. And, you know, we, we’ve talked about this lots of times, but we don’t

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put our kids in youth group and expect the youth pastor to disciple them or

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their Sunday school teacher to disciple them. Like, we need to be sitting

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in church together as a family. So that the pastor who, hopefully you’ve got a

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pastor who’s teaching from the word of God, solid

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biblical truth, and he is to be discipling dad and

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mom and children so that mom and dad can go home and then continue to

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disciple their kids. And so it’s, it’s a high calling and it’s a lot

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of work. It is very intentional work, but it is

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what we sign up for when we have children. And it’s a wonderful

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privilege. It’s not a burden to do that. I mean, we’re just doing life

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with our kids, and it is such a. Joy, and it’s the most natural

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thing in the world. If, if you are growing in

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your own faith, it’s going to overflow. And so

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really, that’s kind of the first thing as a mom, as a dad,

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you have to be growing closer to the Lord if you want to have any

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hope of discipling your kids, because you

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can’t give them what you do not have. That’s right. So you, mom,

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dad, have to make the time to get into God’s word, be growing,

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be changing. Set up your own life where there’s accountability, where you

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have opportunities to be in community with other believers. That’s so, so

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important. Even you were talking about having

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someone like me, older. Older and wiser, at least older,

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to speak into you. But we all need that. That’s what God called us to

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do in titus two. The older ones of us are to reach down and

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invest in those who are coming up behind. And that is God’s way. And

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so, so many times I see homeschoolers, and this is an entirely different

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tangent. Isolate themselves rather than plug

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into the community. And that is why I think so many

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families are being destroyed in the homeschool school arena now,

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because someone who is isolated is easy pickings for the

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enemy. And so it is so, so important that we connect

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with one another, that we live in community and we are

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growing together and just allow that growth to overflow and

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our kids are going to catch it naturally. Yeah. Yeah. Even talking about

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accountability, I mean, you know, in addition to the discipleship, having friends

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to hold you accountable. Hey, how’s your homeschooling going? How’s your

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parenting going? How are you doing with your kids? Are you getting angry with them

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easily? Are you being patient with them? Are you? You know, all the things. I

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mean, I have a couple of good friends in my life who we can just

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speak truth to one another, and I love that God has provided that for

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me and for them as well, because we need to sharpen one another

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in that way. So we’ve got lots more to talk about, but first, we’re going

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to grab this break. We’ll be right back.

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We are back with Leslie. Okay, so we talked about the first

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thing. What else do you have? So

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the second thing that you’re going to see is families who are truly

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successful heart schoolers are going to realign their thinking

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with their calling. So we’re not just going to give lip service, which I

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think so many people get to the point where, yes, they recognize their calling,

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they understand it, but they don’t allow that calling to inform

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the way they live. So we’re going to start realigning our thinking with

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what our calling is, putting our priorities in place,

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deciding what our lines in the sand are, if you will, that are

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going to inform the way that we approach

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everything. You know, a lot of times that

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requires that you don’t let your planner be your master. You’ve

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got to recognize when, you know, when there are competing interests

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between a math lesson that is causing a mental breakdown for your

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child and taking the time to get to the bottom of why we’re

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having this mental breakdown. What’s at the heart of this issue? You’re going to go

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for the heart every time. But the cool thing about heart

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schooling and the approach there is because we want to make sure that

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we are giving our kids a whole foundation, not

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just a one sided foundation. We’re going to teach them the character to

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go back. After we’ve dealt with the heart issue that’s making them lose

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their mind about the math lesson, we’re going to deal with that, and we’re going

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to go back and have the character to do hard things and to face the

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things that we dread. And you get to walk through your kids

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just or with your kids just very, very natural. These are

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life lessons that they need to be learning. But you can’t

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look at the two things, the math lesson and the

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heart issue, on the same level, because then you’re never going to know what

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you’re supposed to do and you’re going to second guess every decision that you

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make. Whereas when you start aligning your

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daily thinking, how you’re approaching all these things in your day

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with the calling that God has given you, it straight lines, everything,

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it gives you clarity. Your kids are on better footing

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because mom or dad is on better footing, and so it makes a huge difference.

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But that, that realigning your thinking when I teach it is. I mean,

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this is a whole long lesson in and of itself. But that’s where I

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see so many people. Like, the lights start coming on, like, oh, I

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was. I didn’t have these things lined up. Like I was saying that I

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recognize my calling, but the way that I was living didn’t actually back

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that up. So they’re confused. Their kids are confused. Everybody’s

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frustrated. And it does make for a miserable homeschool experience.

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Yeah. And no kid can learn that way. We’ve often said, you know, character

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over curriculum, and there’s no child in the world,

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mom or dad, who’s listening to this, who, if they’re struggling with

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writing a paper, maybe they’re doing math, maybe they’re diagramming a sentence.

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Maybe they’re trying to, you know, remember some science facts or history dates

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or whatever it is that they’re doing. If you’re getting angry and upset

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with your child because they’re frustrated, you getting angry and

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upset with them is not going to help them learn. Just no

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child ever in the history, history of mankind goes,

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oh, okay, mom, I understand why you’re so very angry with me. Let me just

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switch my brain over. And now I’m going to start learning with joy. You know,

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that just doesn’t happen. Yeah. And so we need to, like you said, just

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gently come alongside of our children, take away that

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curriculum for a minute and say, okay, let’s. Let’s get to the heart

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issue. Let’s get to what’s actually going on here. Let’s figure out

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why you’re frustrated or why you’re angry. And maybe they’re just having a bad attitude.

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Maybe they know exactly what they’re doing. Oh, yeah. They’re not struggling academically. Maybe they’re

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just having a bad attitude and even then, take them away from

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it for a time, readjust as needed,

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and then come back to it, and hopefully they will have a better attitude. I

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mean, you’ve got four kids. You’ve graduated three. I’ve graduated

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one. We’ve had to do this many times with our girls, you know,

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and it doesn’t have to be a huge battle it just needs to be intentional.

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Oh, absolutely. And I just, I just finished a book about

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discipling preteens that will be coming out next year.

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But one of the things that I learned while doing that is when

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your child’s emotional brain is turned on, it’s, like,

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heightened. Then there are a lot of other parts of their brains that just shut

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down. So if you’re trying to get a child who’s, like,

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all hyped up on emotion or anger or angst or

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pride or whatever it is that’s making them freak out,

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they legitimately are not able to do

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that critical thinking, those linear tasks at that

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moment. So even from a scientific standpoint,

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it makes sense to pull them away, to have those

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conversations peacefully and calmly, like you noted, ask

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questions. David and I talk all the time about how questions prick the conscience,

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but accusations harden the will. So when you go in, you start

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asking questions. What were they thinking? Why did they, how did they think

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this would turn out? How, you know, all these different things, trying to get to

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the root of what’s going on, that allows them to settle down,

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you to settle down, and you’re able to actually deal with the situation before

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returning to the hard things. Right. Right. Oh, such good

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stuff. All right, let’s talk about one more. We’ve got a few minutes left for

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this episode. Let’s go through one more. You know, what are these

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things that families who are successful heart schoolers

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that you see in them? So the third one is

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they refine their vision with their calling. So I think a lot of times we

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throw around words like goals and mission statements and this,

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this, that, and the other, but they seem really sterile. So

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what you’re going to want to do to really be a successful heart schooler

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is, first of all, sit down. And what is your vision for your family

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20 years from now? What does that dinner conversation sound like?

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What does the picture on your mantle look like? Really think

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in Technicolor what your vision is for your family, and

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then you’re going to start backing up. How do I get there? How do I

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have those relationships? How do I have that conversation around our table

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that is so life giving and nothing so brittle and

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broken and awkward? So start with what your

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vision is. And how does that, how does your calling inform that? Well,

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obviously, I want to have a close family. I want kids who walk with

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God. You know, all, I want them successful doing anything that God

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opens the door for them. So if I have

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these things that I want to see in my family 20 years

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down the road, then I’m going to start laying in goals and

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mission statements. And actually, I talk a lot about a new set of

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benchmarks because I think that’s one of the

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goals are big, and even smaller goals are still kind of

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big. So we need benchmarks that we can look at to see that we’ve just

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had a good day, and our benchmarks are going to look very different

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than the system that we took our kids out of. And yet so many

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families actually gauge their successful days based on a

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system that we didn’t want our kids in in the first place. So new

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benchmarks, new vision, and how does this all fit together? That’s

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really that third element. Yeah. I would love to park on

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benchmarks for a few minutes, but we’re out of time. So we’re gonna

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figure leave a little cliffhanger here, we’re gonna come back next

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time. And let’s talk about that, because I would love to know what some of

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your benchmarks are that you’ve had with your kids, maybe that you see in other

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families. Yeah. But until we get back to that, Leslie,

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tell our audience where they can find out more about you and your ministry. Oh,

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thank you so much. You can find out all about us at

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teachthemdiligently.net. We have a podcast, the Teach Them

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Diligently Podcast. We have events every spring, homeschool

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events. We have a lot of hard school content on there, books,

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intensive courses, etcetera, and a membership site, so you can find out

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all of that teachthemdiligently.net. All right, I’ll put that link in the show

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notes. Stay tuned to the very end to hear what’s coming up next on the

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Skull Housewives podcast. Thank you guys so much for being with us. If you have

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not left a review for this podcast, would you do us a favor? Just take

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00:21:44,176 –> 00:21:47,560
a few minutes to go on whatever app you’re listening to it on and leave

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a five star review. And then if you would just write a little

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blurb about why this podcast is a blessing to you, that really,

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really helps us to get the word out about it and share it with your

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friends. You guys are so good at doing that. I love hearing, you

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know, oh, I shared this episode with so and so and or people telling us,

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oh, I found your, your podcast, because my friend told me about it. It.

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We are so grateful for that. So we love you guys. Have a great rest

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of your day, and we’ll see you back here next time. Bye.