SR 872: Heart Schooling: Creating Order and Peace – Leslie Nunnery, Part 3

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Was I a pain? Was I in a bad mood? Did I do things wrong?

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100%. But by God’s grace,

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we tended to make those things right. Yeah. And that is

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not the sum total of our impact on our kids lives. And

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that’s really what we want to shoot for. Hey, everyone, this is

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Yvette Hampton. Welcome back to the Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast. I am

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so glad you are back with me and my friend Leslie, and we’re talking

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about heart schooling this week. We’re talking about her new book

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called Heart School: How Amazing Parents Become Excellent

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Home Educators. And, man, I know you guys are amazing

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parents because I hear from you, and I love that you have such

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a heart for your kids. I know that because you’re listening to this

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podcast. And if you didn’t have a heart for your children, you wouldn’t care to

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listen to this podcast. You would be listening to Crime Junkies or something like

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that, which I’m not saying you can’t listen to Crime Junkies. You can listen to

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that, too. But the fact that you’re listening to this as well, um, just

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proves that you really do care about the hearts of your children, and you really

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do want to do what’s best for them according to the truth of God’s

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Word. And that’s why we’re here. It’s why the Schoolhouse Rocked Ministry exists,

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and, um, we are so grateful for it. It’s why they Teach Them

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Diligently ministry exists. We are very much aligned

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with one another in just helping to prepare you and

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equip you as homeschool parents to disciple the hearts of your kids.

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It’s. It’s why we do what we do and why we’ve done what we’ve done

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for a very long time. And so, um, I. I always think it’s funny. I’m

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like, I think we’re going to run out of things to talk about on the

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podcast, and then somehow we never do. And it’s really fun because I’ll often

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have parents come on and talk about discipleship, and I

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always think, well, it’s going to be the same conversation again. But

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somehow it always ends up being a different conversation that brings different kinds of

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encouragement and reminders, which is what we need. You know? Know, we don’t read

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the Bible one time and go, oh, yeah, I’ve got it all. I understand

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it, and I remember it all, and I don’t ever have to read it again.

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No, no. We continue to read God’s word over and over and over again

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because we need those constant reminders. And so Leslie is here

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to help us remember and to help us stay focused on our main mission. So

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I’m excited to get back into our conversation, but before we do, I want to

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say thank you again to our sponsor, BJU Press Homeschool. If you’re looking

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for a great homeschool curriculum for any subject, any age, any

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grade from a strong, solid, biblical worldview, check them

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out at bjupresshomeschool.com and they really will help

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encourage a love of learning in your children. And whether

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your independent learning style or a parent led approach, whatever it is that works

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best for your family, try them out. They’ve got something

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for you.

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Bjupresshomeschool.com. Well, Leslie, we’ve been talking about these benchmarks,

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and the benchmarks really are, we’re talking about what

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it looks like to form

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strong christian families, families who are really

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successful in heart schooling their kids. And so it’s been really

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fun talking through these. I think we have two more to talk about. Is that

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right? Yeah. We’ve worked through seven of what I call the marks of

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a heart school family, or what you would see in

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a successful heart schooling family, whether they be at your church or whether

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you’re trying to build them personally. So we’ve been through five of

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them. Well, you know, you’ve got the other episodes to go through that we have

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two more. And these are really where you start putting everything back

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together. So the 6th mark of a successful

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heart school family is that all these things that you’ve gone

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through before, recognizing your call, aligning your

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thinking, focusing on the relationships, and so on and so on and so on, all

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of that puts together, and it allows you to restore order

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to your home. Because a heart schooler

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lives an examined life, you know, we are taking our

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role seriously within our family. We are

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looking at all the tools that we have in our hand to bring our kids

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to Jesus and to give them a good education, a good

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foundation for their faith, because we are thinking so strategically

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about all of those things that

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allows us to really restore a lot of order to our home. When in so

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many, when you talk to so many homeschoolers, order is

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not the word that they use to describe their home. It feels

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chaotic. It feels out of control. It feels like they

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are just grasping on for dear life and

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afraid they’re gonna fall in the abyss at any moment. And it just should

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not be that way. So as you allow these other five things that

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we’ve talked about to inform the way that you

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approach your day, how you order your

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life, what you say yes to, what you say no to curriculum that

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you use. How does that fit in with the dynamic of your family?

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How you look at responsibilities, or we always call them responsibilities. Some

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people call them chores, how you look at just the way

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that your home functions. All of

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these things fall under this big umbrella of this mission that God has

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given you. And when you allow that mission to really

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inform the choices that you’re making day in and day out of, it

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truly does restore a lot of order to your family, and it allows you

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all to be on the same page so your kids understand

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why you do what you do, which makes a huge difference, too,

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and also between husband and wife, because you’ve taken the time back earlier

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in this kind of route that we’re taking through the heart schooling

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marks, you’ve hopefully taken the time earlier to get on the same

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page. As far as what’s your vision? What are your goals? What are those benchmarks

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that you’re gonna look at to see if you’ve had a good day? All of

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that helps you restore order to your home, and it makes a massive

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difference. And then all of those things work together to help

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you relish every minute of the adventure. I find so many

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parents are so

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downtrodden, fearful, chaotic,

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whatever. Pick your little adverb there that they

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really aren’t enjoying this amazingness

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that God has put right there in front of them. You know, we

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said every stage was our favorite, and we still contend that even this

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new phase that we’re in is our favorite because God

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put us there, and we are able, because of the way that our family is

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functioning, to truly enjoy every minute of the

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adventure. And that’s my heart for all of the families who are listening

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in is that they would set up their families biblically, really

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approach homeschooling and parenting biblically so that

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they are able to just enjoy the family that God has given them.

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Yeah. For some reason, it’s so funny.

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I’m a super visual person, so I get these weird images in my

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head. And as you were talking about restoring order to your home, I was thinking

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of the difference between, like, a thrift store and a boutique that.

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That has very specific items. You know, you go into a thrift store,

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and it’s like a free for all. There’s, like, everything in there. You’ve got clothes,

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you’ve got housewares, you’ve got furniture, you’ve got toys, you’ve got shoes and books, and,

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like, all the things, and everything is kind of a mess, and it can be

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stressful. I mean, you can find good things. I shop at thrift stores all the

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time, so you can find little nuggets of goodness, but you really,

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really, really have to search for those good things that are

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in there because it’s in the midst of a bunch of messy, dirty

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chaos. And. And that’s hard. But if you’re looking for, like, a really

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pretty dress, you can go into a boutique that, you know is a dress

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boutique, and, you know, they’ve got your size, and, you know, they’ve got

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your style. And you go into that boutique and you can probably find a dress

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that’s going to fit your needs. And it’s a completely different thing. And

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so I know that’s a weird analogy, but it’s kind of how I

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view our home is that if we know what we

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want it to look like and it takes work. Yeah, absolutely. Right.

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But if we have a plan and a blueprint, we know

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exactly where we’re going. We can work really hard

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as parents to try to make our home that. And that even

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includes just the visual of our home. Right. Yeah.

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Decluttering stuff, getting rid of stuff, you know, making it a place

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that’s peaceful and enjoyable and clean. And so all those

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things make for a better homeschooling experience for our kids.

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Absolutely. Absolutely. And understanding your mission and

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allowing that to inform your choices like we were talking about, is going

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to remove saying yes to a bunch of things at once where

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you’re just. You’re so over programmed that you’re never having dinner together as a

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family or, you know, there’s a statistic we talk

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about a lot, I think focus on the family came out with it, that the

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average family spends 34 minutes a day of

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quality time, the average parent does of quality time with their

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children, which seems so absurd to me until you

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recognize, oh, wait, if they’re sending their kids off to school, they’re getting on the

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bus super early. They’re staying after probably for practices or

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lessons or something like that. Then they have a couple of hours of

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homework. Odds are they’re not eating dinner together because they’re

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all going in different directions. That 34 minutes a day of

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quality time. And that’s on average, they’re not even getting. That sometimes

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is shocking, but you can

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get there pretty easily. Well, you can’t disciple someone that

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you’re not with. You cannot impact the life of

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someone that you are not doing life with. And so,

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you know, just actually allowing yourself to

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say no, to restore order, to remove that clutter. I loved that

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illustration of the thrift shop because it is so perfect. I get

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utterly overwhelmed when I go. I do it, too. I go there, but I

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get so overwhelmed, and it’s like, oh, I don’t even know if it’s worth it.

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Right? I have that thought every time I walk in, and I don’t want my

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kids or my husband to. To come home and be

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like, I know there’s good stuff somewhere here, but I just don’t know how

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I’m going to find it.

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As you’ve looked back on your years of homeschooling your kids,

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you’ve graduated three. You’ve got your last one in her last year

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of high school. Man, I do not look forward to that at all.

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I literally dread Lacey’s senior year because

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I just feel like it’s going to be over. I want to just go have

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a whole bunch more babies so that I can keep going with them.

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Oh, man. But. But again, you’re in a different season, and a season where

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you’re still having a great relationship with your kids and you still see your

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adult kids and still have that bond with them, and I think that’s so beautiful.

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Um, but as you look back on your

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homeschooling years, what is. What. What are some of the most

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rewarding things? Um, some of the most rewarding aspects of

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your years with them? It’s hard to boil

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that down, honestly. The relationships that we have with them are

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amazing. The fact that, because we were so focused

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on going for their hearts and actually doing life with them. And I want

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to make sure that I reiterate, this is not

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something that David and I are just so brilliant that we set out with all

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of these grand plans. Rather, we were praying for our kids, very

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specifically throughout their child. Well, from the time they were

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born and God gave us ideas, God

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led us, and we just followed one step at a time. Not

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this big 20 step plan, but rather this is our

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next step of obedience. Because we did that, our kids were able to

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serve the Lord with us right alongside of us. Two of them still

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are working right alongside of us in the ministry.

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We were able to do all kinds of stuff with our

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kids, learning what they love, learning about what they

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loved, and just really building deep, deep relationships. Relationships with them. And

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now we sit around the table and. Which happens

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frequently, I’m very grateful to say. And it struck me

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the other day, they sit around and they talk about all these things

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that they did together as a, you know, cohort of

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children that I didn’t know about. They find it so funny now to tell me

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all the stuff I didn’t know. It’s amazing they lived, but

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they don’t ever say, you remember that day that you were

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really just a pain, you were just in a

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bad mood, and you snapped at me. And all this stuff that we, as

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parents, tend to, like, cling to and we feel so guilty about,

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that never comes up. And was I a pain?

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Was I in a bad mood? Did I do things wrong? 100%.

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But by God’s grace, we tended to make those things

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right. Yeah. And that is not the sum

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total of our impact on our kids lives. And that’s really what we want to

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shoot for, is we want to make sure that when our kids, and this comes

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down to that vision that we talked about in the last episode,

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the kids discussion around the table as adults

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are all about the good times we had, the things that God. The way that

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God provided. We were very intentional with

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letting our kids know when things were tough or when we were walking by faith

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and not by sight, and we prayed about things together. Well, that

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strengthens their faith, too. And they talk about that now. So

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just having those relationships, that. Now

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that I’m kind of on the other side of it, I get to see the

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impact of that on them as adults, as they are thinking about having

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children and as they are, you know, starting their own families.

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And it’s just amazing how God uses those little simple

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steps of obedience. Yeah. You talked really quickly about

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praying for your kids from birth. And one of the

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things I actually, I pulled this out before I got on to record with

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you. And this. It’s a. It’s a list of prayers for our

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children. And you published this years ago. I

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mean, I want to say probably five. At least five years

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ago. I don’t know. It was a long time. A long time. And I keep

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this in my Bible, and it just. I love the way

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you’ve. That you’ve structured this. And I’ll just read, like, randomly, a couple of

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other couple that are on here, like, one of them is, may

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they be teachable. And then you have proverbs 13 one next to it. A wise

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son hears his father’s instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.

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Or may they always feel loved. Jeremiah 31

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three, I have loved you with an everlasting love. Therefore, I have continued

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my faithfulness to you. And so you’ve got scripture that goes along with each one

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of these. And so I asked you before we got on today, said, do you

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still have this as a free download? And you said, yes. And you also have

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one for praying for your spouse. And, um,

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so we’ll put links to this in the show notes because this has been a

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really great resource for me because sometimes, you know, we’re like, what do

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exactly do we pray for our kids? Like, we pray for them, but how do

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we pray specifically? And what specifically should we be praying for?

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And so you have taken this and come up with, I don’t know, 30

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something different prayers with scripture for

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our kids. Um, so we’ll put links to those. They’re free downloads.

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We’ll put a link to those. Thank you for doing this. I mean, it has

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really been a blessing to me for years now. Like I said, I keep it

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in the front of my bible, and I’m grateful for that. So

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and so grateful for your ministry. Let me ask you one last question, because we’re

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almost out of time, but we have just a few minutes left.

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Since teach them diligently was

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birthed many years ago. Maybe talk first about what

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motivated you to start the ministry in the first place.

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I know, because we’ve gotten to know you guys and we’ve talked a lot about

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this, but for our audience, maybe who doesn’t know about teach them

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diligently, the ministry that you have talk about how it

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was born and then how has it changed.

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Yeah, I teach them diligently was born because

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we felt that there needed, there was room for an

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event that really celebrated discipleship in homeschooling.

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When we were starting homeschooling years and years and years ago,

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it had gotten to where homeschooling was almost an idol, like

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the way that people talked about it. I converted them to homeschooling.

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People were really, really laser focused. People were free to do it. All of a

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sudden, it became this big, big deal, and we saw a lot of people

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around us missing the real point of it, which was, this is a great tool

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to disciple your kids. So we started teaching them diligently

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the first year just to celebrate discipleship in

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homeschooling, only planning to have it one year, it was to support. My husband is

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also president of a businesses missions mission board, and so

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teach them diligently. 5% of every dollar supports that

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mission. And so it was started to help fund

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our mission work, and God just has exploded

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it. Since 2012, when we did our first event, we’ve

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had more than 45 events. We have served thousands and

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thousands and thousands and thousands of families. And I, as our kids have

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grown and we’ve had more opportunities, we’ve done more books, and we have a

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membership site that is amazing. Teach them diligently. 365. We

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have a podcast, like you noted, and we speak. And

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just the doors that God has opened for us to encourage parents as we have

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grown. None of that stuff happened when our kids were younger.

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We didn’t have enough knowledge or experience. But now that we’re older,

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God is taking what he is taught us through life, and he

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is giving us the opportunity to put that out in play for the good of

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others. And that’s really what discipleship is. It’s leveraging what God has

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taught me for the good of others. I do that every day within my.

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My home, for my kids. I leverage that. But God has

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also let us leverage what he’s taught us for the good of families, and we’re

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so grateful. Yeah, I love teaching them diligently. It’s been a

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couple of years since we’ve been to one of your conferences, and I. And it’s

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so funny. I. You’re probably not gonna want

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me to recall this memory, but how.

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I think it was 2018

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or 2019. I can’t remember. Maybe 27? No,

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I think it was 2018 or 2019. We were at the Gaylord

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in Nashville, and they had the national cheer competition.

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Oh, my gosh. Going on at the same time. And

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if you guys have not ever experienced a national cheer competition

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alongside of a teach them diligently convention, let me

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tell you, you talk about two worlds colliding. Oh, my goodness. It was the most

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insane thing. Cause you’ve got these girls who are. I mean, really, they’re

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half naked. I mean, it was so disturbing. I mean, little tiny

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girls wearing practically nothing with these big

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eyelashes. Makeup, makeup, big hair. It was crazy

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glitter. And. Yes, and we were all the

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hotel, for whatever reason, they kind of put us all in the same area, so

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there was no way to, like, separate from them. Yeah. And

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so. But. But I do remember that there were a couple of

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people who kind of walked into the vendor hall from the national cheer competition and

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were kind of like, where are we? You know, you might be in the wrong

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place, but come on in and hear about Jesus. You know? Yeah.

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And it. That was wild. And it’s so funny because I remember David, your

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husband, sitting on the staircase at one time, and he just. His hands were in

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his, you know, his head was in his hands, and he was like, I can’t

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believe this is actually happening. I mean, it was crazy. But for

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whatever reason, the Lord allowed that to take place,

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and we still got through it. And, you know, all the boys had to look

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down at their shoes as they were walking by the cheerleaders. I mean, it was,

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it was insane. But then you go from that into

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the teach them diligently main session, and we’re worshiping

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together, we’re praying together, we’re encouraging one another.

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And there’s thousands of people there

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who all have this same mindset, who all have the

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same goals or maybe who don’t yet have those same goals in

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mindset, but they’re trying to figure it out, right? It’s these

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homeschool moms and dads. And that’s one of my favorite things, is that there’s

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often families together. And these families come together and they

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just hear about the truth of God’s Word. They hear the gospel,

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they hear encouragement, and they’re equipped with the vendor hall, with the

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speakers, with all the things on how to disciple their

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kids. And it was. We’ve. I’ve talked many times about our very first convention that

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we went to. That was in 2010 when I was

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pregnant with Lacey. So that was 13 years ago. And it was

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CHEA. The CHEA convention in California and going. And it was

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that same thing where it was like, oh, this is what homeschooling

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was. Because that before that weekend, we said we’d never

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homeschool. I mean, we were adamant about it, and we made fun homeschoolers. Yeah.

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And then we went to this convention and we were like, oh, okay,

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this is totally different. And our mindset was completely

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shifted. And so thank you, Leslie, for what you and David and your

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family and your team do to encourage and equip

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homeschool families. You’re so good at it. God has really gifted you guys with the

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ability to put on these conferences and to offer all the things you have, your

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podcast, your books, your, you know, membership, um,

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everything that you have. You guys have been such a blessing to the kingdom, and

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we are so grateful for what you do. So if you guys want to find

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out anything about Leslie Nunnery and Teach Them Diligently, it’s

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teachthemdiligently.net. Go there. We’ll put links in the show

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notes. Um, Leslie, thank you for being with me this week. It’s been such a

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joy and a pleasure. We appreciate you. Thank you so much. It’s been fun.

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Absolutely. And again, her new book is called Heart School.

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It is How Amazing Parents Become Excellent Home Educators, by Leslie

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Nunnery. And so this is what it looks like. If you’re watching the video we

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will put links to that in the show notes as well. It’s a, it’s not

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a big book, you guys. It’s a small, readable book, which is nice. Some books

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are big and they overwhelm me. And I’m like, I don’t have time to read

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that entire book. But this book is really well laid out, so it will be

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an encouragement to you. Thank you guys so much for listening. We will be back

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next week with another fantastic guest. Stay tuned to the very end to hear a

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clip of what’s coming up. And we love you guys. If you need prayer

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or encouragement or if there’s anything we can do to serve you, any guests you

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want to hear from, topics you want us to discuss on the podcast, send us

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an email at podcast@schoolhouserocked.com. We’ll see you back

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here next week. Bye.