SR 822: Embracing Joy in Homeschooling and Ministry – Abby Joy, Part 1

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I feel so privileged that I get to help raise the next men that are

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coming up. Hey, everyone, this is Yvette Hampton.

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Welcome back to the Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast. I have a new guest with me

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today. Her name is Abby Joy, and this is going to be a

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joyful conversation. Actually, I’ll tell her to tell you about her name

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when, when we get started talking to her because it’s a really fun

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story and she’s, she’s double joy. We’re just going to call her double

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joy this week, but she really is joyful. And it is always fun to have

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people like her on the podcast because, you know, we want to bring joy into

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your home and into your homeschooling. And she is going to help us do that

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this week. But before we get into our conversation, I want to say thank you

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Abby Joy, welcome to the Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast. It is so much fun to

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have you with me today. One of my favorite things is to have a new

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guest on and get to sit and chat with them beforehand and just

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get to know them and their family and their lifestyle and what they’re doing. And

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so I always feel like I have all these new friends who live in different

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parts of the country. And you’re in Minnesota where it’s stinking, freezing

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cold. And I’ve told you guys on the podcast,

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I cannot. The cold thing.

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Oklahoma is like the max of what I can handle when it comes to

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cold. But I, I don’t think I could do Minnesota. I don’t know. It’s.

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I love the cold. I wouldn’t want to go any further south, actually. I have

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lived all over the country, and this is great for me. I live in southern

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Minnesota, so it’s not like international falls, but I like the cold and

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the snow. Well, that’s good, because you live in it. So, yes,

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I think God makes us all different to be able to adapt

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to and enjoy the place where he puts us. Because I’ve said so many

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times, there’s no better place to be than the center of God’s will. And

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if God’s will for you is to be in Minnesota, where it’s cold,

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then that’s the best place for you and your family to be. And I hear

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it’s beautiful. I’ve not been in Minnesota yet, but one of these days. Oh, well,

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I can invite you. You can come anytime and maybe even

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speak at one of our retreats at some point, too. That would be really fun

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if you’re looking. Yeah, that would be fun. That would be fun. And I will

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come and sit in your chair. Before we were arranging, you’ve got this really

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cool looking chair that looks very comfortable in your living room. And I said, I

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just want to go just snuggle up in that chair there, so

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maybe we’ll get to do that. Well, for those of you who don’t know you

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and you’re new to them as you are to me, introduce yourself to us and

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tell us all about Abby Joy. Sure. So, yes, my name is

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Abby Joy. My parents named me Abigail, which means a father’s source of joy.

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And then my middle name is Joy, and so I am their double

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joy. So we were talking about that ahead of time because you have a daughter

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whose middle name is Joy, and that’s really fun. I always want to live

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up to that name. I was really scared to really, like, share it and take

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it on too much, but I really want to be an encourager and I want

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to bring joy. And I’ve been really encouraged as people around

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us share about, like, how joyful our family is

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and seems to be. And so I’ve really, like, tried to embrace that and share

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that a little bit more, too. And that’s what I really want to do on,

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like, my YouTube channels is encourage families and show

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them how much joy there is and can be in family

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unity and doing family things together. Family subjects,

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games, all kinds of things. I really like to focus on the those things, but,

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yes, so I am a Christian. I am like

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a third or fourth generation Christian, actually, just very blessed by that

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generational passing down. I was a pastor’s daughter,

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and now I’m a pastor’s wife as well. My husband is

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amazing. He’s super supportive. He’s a wonderful father,

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and it has just been great to partner with him in ministry. And

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God has made it extremely clear that we are supposed to be in Minnesota,

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specifically where we are. Over and over again. He reaffirms that for

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us. So that has been really great. I have four boys, ages

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six, eight. Eight. They’re identical twins and a ten year old.

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And yes, boy mom also love it. Wouldn’t trade it

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for anything. They are just so much fun. And so that’s where

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we are, and we homeschool, and we are in the thick

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of it, learning and enjoying life and trying to share God with

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others. I love that. Have you always homeschooled? I have from the beginning,

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yep. Okay. Okay, so. So twins. Let’s. Let’s

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park there for just a minute because you have identical

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twin boys, which is so fun. My daughter and I were just talking about

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this the other day, and I said if I ever had twins, I would want

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them to be identical, because it just seems so much more fun that way. You

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know, it’s two for the price of one. Buy one, get one free. Oh, it’s

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not, though. It’s not.

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Is it not? It’s not. Buy one, get one free. They are so expensive. Did

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you know that actually, your ultrasounds, when you go in to get tested, they.

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They charge you double. Do they really? Even the first one

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where they discover that you have twins. Oh, that’s so funny. Yeah, it’s

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really. I did not know that. All

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at one time. The diapers. I mean, they don’t share a diaper, so there’s a

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lot of experience. Right, right. Well, yeah. I don’t mean the price of raising them.

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I mean the price of just getting them, except for the ultrasound, you know? Cause

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I mean, like, delivery, you only have to go through it one time and you

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get two babies out of it instead of just one baby. Yeah. Yeah. No.

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Okay. You’ve had singles and you’ve had doubles.

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We’re, like, going way off track here. Were deliveries the same or totally

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different with twins than with singles? Okay. So I was, like, incredibly blessed.

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Well, first of all, I actually had to drive 3 hours every two

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weeks to get to the cities to do appointments because I had

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mono di twins, which means that they shared the same placenta. They had

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separate sex, but share the same placenta. Okay. Sorry if that’s like

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TMI, but they needed to be monitored closely. It was

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technically high risk at that point. Although I was very blessed and

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my boys were very healthy. I did need to deliver there also,

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because in our small town, they don’t deliver those. And I

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was blessed to be able to deliver both naturally. Now you still have to have

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an epidural in case you need to go in for a c section. I

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delivered one breach, which, if I hadn’t had the correct doctor, that we

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prayed and prayed and prayed that I would have a doctor that would deliver a

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twin breech, and she came on shift, like as I

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was going into the or delivery room. Wow. It was really

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incredible. But I easily could have delivered one natural and

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then had a c section, and that would have been

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terrible. And so,

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no, I love having my

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twins, but the pregnancy was hard. All of my

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pregnancies were hard, but the pregnancy was hard. The delivery was scary,

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and then the year afterwards was really.

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I call it, like my worst year. It was just challenging. It was

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hard on my marriage. If you know, twin moms, that first

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year specifically, I think the divorce rate for parents with

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twin. With twins is actually, like,

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skyrocketed higher than everything else. It is

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so incredibly hard. And,

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yeah, there’s just. There’s no sleep. You have a lot of anger with

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your spouse on. Like, is everybody pulling their weight and

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communication and a lot of. There’s a lot that can

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go into that. And, like any pregnancy, all pregnancies can be different and

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handled things differently. A lot of the Facebook groups I was part of

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for twin moms, they were really toxic. They were really dangerous

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because people are just struggling and they don’t have sleep. And

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so often I hear people say, oh, I always wanted to have twins.

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And I think. I think you wanted to be a twin. I don’t think you

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wanted to have twins. Now, though, they’re best

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friends, and all my boys are within four years of each other, and they

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get along really well. And I think a lot of that is because we keep

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them home, too. They are best friends. They aren’t split up in

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school. We do a lot of family subjects together.

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They get along so well. And so now I absolutely

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love it. But it was really hard.

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I love your honesty and transparency there because I think so many times,

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especially with you as a pastor’s wife, we feel like we have

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to just have it all together or at least show people that

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we have it all together. And it’s hard for people

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to, you know, sometimes say, like, you know what it was. It was the worst

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year of my life. It was awful. It was really, really hard. And that doesn’t

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mean you didn’t love your kids. Oh, no. Yeah, it just means it was really

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difficult. Well, so two things with that. One, the funny part, I would often end

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up at church on Sunday morning and there’s like, this big mirror as soon as

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you walk into church. And I’d, like, sat down, the twins in, like, their little

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car seats or whatever, and I’d stand up and I’d realize this is the first

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time I’m looking in the mirror today. I’m already at church. Like, oh,

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my goodness. Okay. Cause you’re just so everything has

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to be so thought about your kids and getting where you need to

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go that I just wouldn’t even think to look in the mirror in the morning.

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And you had a two year old at the time, too? I did, yeah. Which,

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I mean, I’ve been thankful that they were second born and not

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firstborn because my two year old was even able to be very

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helpful in those times. And so that was really nice.

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today Apologia.com. we are

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back with Abby. So before the break, we were talking about you having twins,

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and I just want to park here for a minute because I don’t think we’ve

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ever talked about this on the podcast that I can remember

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having twins. I imagine that even though they’re identical,

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they shared a placenta. They’re probably very different in their

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personalities and in the ways that they learn, perhaps. And you’ve got

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four boys. So you said you have ten, two eight year

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olds and a six year old. Yes. Is that right? Yep. Okay. So they’re all

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pretty close in age. So even aside from just being

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twins, you’ve got two others that kind of sandwiched the

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twins. What does that look like for you in homeschooling?

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Because I imagine with them being the same age, do you find it difficult

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to not compare them in certain ways? And, like, just what does that look like

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with having twins and homeschooling them at the same time? Yeah. So I think

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we’ve really tried to combat that comparison just,

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well, even from a very young age, when they’re really little, you see

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their personalities shine through. And so I think one of the

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ways that I identify my twins separately is even, like, I can see those

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little personality differences even in the way that they walk or the way that

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they talk. Like, there’s just little things that, as a mom, I can pick up

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on, and we’ve embraced and love those differences

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about them. And so I think some of that comes very

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naturally as a mom, just knowing they are different and,

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like, expecting that. Also, being a

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student of your children. Right. Constantly learning

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better how they learn and how to serve them.

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And so, yeah, they are different. And I’ve really had

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to be on guard with some of those things. I remember

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early on when we started, like, okay, we should probably do some, like,

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curriculum or some learning things specifically for them.

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I had one child who was, like, ready to go, like, yeah, mom, give me

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all the workbook pages. I want to do it. And the other one who was

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like, no, you cannot make me do school. And I

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really had to embrace and be okay with, like, okay, he’s not there yet. He

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doesn’t want to. He’s not interested. He needs more play still.

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And the other child who wanted to just,

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like, kind of going with it with him. And now as an encouragement, what

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happened was a year later, though, a child that didn’t want to learn

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suddenly sped up. He was really interested. He picked it up really quick, and

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they almost flipped. And we have had this happen with them

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so many times and just have been able to see it, so we can

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anticipate, like, it’s okay. Like, they are different. They will catch up in

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their own time. We just work with them where they are. There are a lot

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of things that we are able to do with them together. And so, like,

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that makes things really nice, but when they are at, like, different

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reading levels, we just find creative ways to. Okay, now it’s your

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turn to go take a break. And I’m going to work with this child who’s

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struggling to pronounce their L’s. And I’m going to work with him in

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this, but nobody else necessarily knows that I’m working

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with that child specifically on this. Like, this is just yours and

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mom’s time to kind of work on what you need to be working on. And

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then we kind of hash out some of those things as well. Yeah, that’s

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awesome. It’s fun to see kids different strengths and

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weaknesses. We have some friends who. Well, they have two little boys

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and they’re 15 months apart. And it’s fun to even watch their different because they’re

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so close. They’re not twins, but they’re very close in age. And one of them

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is very academic and the other one is, um, very athletic. And so

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sometimes. Cause they’re kind of in the same level ish, you know, kind of doing

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the same stuff with homeschooling. But, um, you know, it would be

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easy for the one who’s more academic to be like, well, I’m way smarter than

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you. Cause I can read at a higher level and da da da. And. But

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then the other one, he’s just way more athletic, and he has other strengths and

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abilities. And so it’s fun to be able to. To see and to

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be able to foster in our kids how God created them and those different

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strengths and even. Their witness, pointing that, pointing it out and

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being verbal about those things, I think just really encourages them from that

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young age. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So, yeah, boys.

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Boys are a whole different story as well. I mean, we’ve talked about boys

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lots on this podcast. We had Dorinda Wilson on not too long ago, and she

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has her new book, you know, raising boys, on raising boys.

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And I’m just like, boys just have cooties and they smell funny and they make

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funny noises. And I just don’t understand the world of boys.

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But I love boy moms like yourself who like, boys are

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awesome. They are so much fun and they’re so active and being able

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to teach them as they are

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active and as they are going through life, I feel. So privileged that I get

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to help raise the next men that are coming up. Right. And it’s

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such a needed field. And I think part of my history of, like,

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looking for a godly man, right. To, like,

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help raise those is such an honor. And

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I told my husband early on when we were pregnant with our first one, like,

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I’m pretty sure God wants us to raise boys. Like, put aside any

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hopes for a girl. Like, God made us to raise boys. And I

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just felt that really strongly from early on. So then, as they continued to be

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boys, I was just like, yes, God, okay, we can do this. And

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it’s been such a blessing and a privilege, and I

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love. I love getting to be part of that. I

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appreciate that so much as a girl, mom, that you are a boy mom, who

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is intentional about raising strong, godly men. Absolutely. I wish that

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society saw it that way, because

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boys, even in the homeschool world, you know, we have seen boys

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are not all boys, but there are a lot of boys who are just

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not what God created them to

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be. They have really succumbed to the pressures of

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society, and that’s really scary. And for the mama of

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two girls, you know, my husband and I, we’ve been praying since before

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they were born. When we found out they were girls, you know, God just be

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raising up godly men for them. And it’s a.

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Let me encourage you. It’s a hard place to be. How much your prayers matter.

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My husband grew up with a very different

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theological background, different upbringing,

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and he will say that in his testimony that

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he didn’t become a Christian, really, until later in high school. And that was

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because a girl from a different church continued to

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invite him to youth group over and over and over again, and he.

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Until he finally felt like, man, she’s really nice. I don’t want

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to be offensive that I don’t want to go, like, I’ll just go once. And

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when he went, he saw the authenticity that they had

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when they sang worship songs. They really believed that God was

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real. And when they prayed, they prayed as if somebody was listening.

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And that is where he really became a Christian. Now, up till this

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point. And even after this point, he was given a

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lot of opportunities to make a lot of different decisions in his life,

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and his family would have supported him in whatever he wanted to do or

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become or anything. And there is no

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reason that my husband should be a Christian or

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a pastor or anything other than my parents

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prayed for him before I was born. And I

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remember it being weird that my parents are praying for my

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future husband wherever he is and protect him and help

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him to make the right choices. And, like, I thought it was so weird. And

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now I’m just like, wow, I wish we could, like, match up dates, and I

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wish we could, like, go back and figure out what was going on because I’m

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just so certain that those prayers mattered. Yeah,

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they absolutely do. Well, we’re out of time, but

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we are going to come back on Wednesday, and I actually want to talk for

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just a few minutes on Wednesday about what it’s like to be a

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pastor’s wife who homeschools, because I think that’s,

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that’s an important role that you have, not just in the church,

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but in the homeschool world at large. So let’s talk a little bit about

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that and we’re going to talk about lots of other fun things. Community

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developing, unified families. I don’t know. We’ve got lots of fun stuff to talk about.

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So we will come back on Wednesday to talk about those things. But

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before we do that, can you tell our listeners where they can find you? I

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know you’ve got lots of fun stuff going on on YouTube, and you talked a

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little bit earlier. You mentioned a retreat that you have or that you

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had, so talk about those really quickly. Yeah, sure. So you can find me

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primarily on family style learning on YouTube.

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There I share all the resources and tips and

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encouragement for being a unified family of curriculums that you can use and so

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forth. I have a second channel called Bear Hill Adventures where I just share

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resources for teaching your kids about the world. It’s kind of a side passion of

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mine. I do have a website. It’s familystyle

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learning.com. you can find information about a

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retreat that, well, as the information comes out that I am

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planning on hosting in the fall, we just had one in March and it was

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amazing for community. And then I’m also on made to homeschool where

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I hang out in the community circles there. And once

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a month host a live meetup where you can chat and we can

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interact and have deeper conversations as well. So I am in like

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all the spaces and it’s instagram too. Awesome. Okay, we’ll put all

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those links in the show notes. And we are so grateful for

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having you this week. It’s been fun chatting with you so far. And we’ll be

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back on Wednesday to continue our conversation. You guys stay tuned to the very end

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to hear what’s coming up on Wednesday. And if you’ve not yet watched the movie

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Schoolhouse Rocked: The Homeschool Revolution, go to the website. Oh, Abby’s giving

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a thumbs up. She has seen the movie. Oh, thank you all. All by God’s

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grace. And it’s free, you guys. It’s free. So if you’ve not seen it

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yet, stream it for free at SchoolhouseRockedMovie.com. or you can

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find it at our regular website, SchoolhouseRocked.com, where we have everything

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else there, including some cool merch. We’ve got some t-shirts

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and other cool stuff. And part of those there’s, you’ll see new

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t-shirts up there that say Thinking Dad. That is for my husband’s new

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podcast that’s coming out soon called the Thinking Dad. And so you’ll see some

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Thinking Dad t-shirts. So maybe for like father’s day, that might be a

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fun gift to get for your husband. But we’ve got lots of stuff in the

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merch store as well, so you can find all that on our website,

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SchoolhouseRocked.com. have a great rest of your day, and we will see you back here

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on Wednesday. Bye.

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And that verse that you were talking about with Abraham sacrificing

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Isaac, right? Like that one so often gets

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used wrong. Like sacrifice your children on the altar of ministry.

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I can’t believe people still say that. Like, that’s not

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a thing. Like you are told over and over and over again,

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like, to care for your children, to raise them in the ways of the Lord,

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to, I mean, Ephesians talks about your relationship with your

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children, right? And your children to your parents and like, that’s not a

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thing. And yet it still is continually brought up

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like, well, somebody else can raise your kids, but you’re gonna go

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do ministry, right? Yeah. No, no,

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no. God gave you your kids for you to be the one to raise them

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up and fear and admonition of him of the Lord.

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Absolutely no one else is going to do it like you. I mean, it’s missionary

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or not. No children like you, right? No one. God gave you

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your children.