SR 828: The 4 Hour School Day: Transforming Your Homeschool – Durenda Wilson, Part 1 (Best of)

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Hey, everyone, this is Yvette Hampton. Welcome back to the Schoolhouse Rocked

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podcast. Our family will be on the road some this summer, and so we thought

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we would bring you some of our best episodes, and we are excited to share

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these with you once again. But before we get into it, I want to say

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thank you again to our sponsor, BJU Press Homeschool. If you’re looking

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for great christian homeschool curriculum that will really help your child

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develop a strong biblical worldview, check them

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out a BJUPressHomeschool.com. they’ll help equip you for a

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successful homeschool journey, and they’ll be with you every step of the way. Check them

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out again at BJUPressHomeschool.com. Now enjoy this

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best of episode from the Schoolhouse Rocked podcast.

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Hey everyone, this is Yvette Hampton. Welcome back to the Schoolhouse

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Rocked Podcast. I am so glad you joined me today. I

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have a great guest on today. Many of you have been with us

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before because, Durenda, you’ve been on a few times, I don’t even know how

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many, maybe three or four times already in the past. And now you’re on again

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because. Because you have a really new, exciting book that is coming out

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tomorrow. I’m so excited. Well, I have my copy of the book,

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and I can’t wait for others to get this into their hands. This is

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Durenda Wilson. She is a very good friend of mine. God has been so gracious

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to just provide some women in my world and in

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my life who are hundreds of miles away from me, but who are just

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those tightest two women in my life and just good,

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faithful prayer warriors and friends to me. And Durenda is one of those people that

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God has placed in my life. So, Durenda, welcome to the podcast.

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Thank you so much for having me again. Yeah, absolutely. I’m so glad to

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have you back. I know we’ve talked about several things. I think

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probably the most listened to

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episode that you’ve done with me, and it’s one of our most listened to

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episodes of all time, is we did one on sibling relationships, and that was a

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real, and that was quite some time ago. That was probably a year and a

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half ago that we did that one. As a matter of fact, I just got

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an email, I think, last week from someone who said she’s listened to

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that episode several times. And, yeah,

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and then we did another one on boys, on

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homeschooling boys, and that one was really good. And we’ve heard from other people that

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they’ve listened to that one several times. And so it’s always fun when we hear

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from people and they say, you know, I just listened again and again and again

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because there’s so much wisdom to grasp in

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these specific things that every homeschool family deals with

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sibling relationships. If you have more than one child, boys. If you

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have boys, one of these days we need to do one on homeschooling

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girls. We can maybe do that together. That would be fun, especially

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since I have girls. So that would make sense. But

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today we’re going to talk about your new book. It’s called the four hour

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school day, how you and your kids can thrive in the

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homeschool life. And this is a very exciting book. I

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remember sitting at the kitchen table with you

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probably, I don’t know, a year and a half ago probably

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about that. And we were, you had just started

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writing the book and you read some of it to Garritt and I,

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and we got to give you some feedback. And it was so exciting then.

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And so now to actually have it in print is very, very exciting. So

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tell us. Well, for those who are not familiar with you, in a

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nutshell, tell us about you and your family and kind of your homeschool journey.

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Okay, well, I’m married to Darryl, and we have been married for,

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well, it’ll be 32 years in September. And we have

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eight kids, five boys and three girls. The ages are 16 to 30. And

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we have our 7th grandbaby due in September. Wow.

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And we have been homeschooling for over 25

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years. So we’ve got seven graduated so far.

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And so we started homeschooling back in the

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nineties, before the Internet and when life was a little

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bit more simple. The Internet is great, but it really does complicate

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things sometimes. And so we really, I mean, we went

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into our homeschooling years just really wanting to give our

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kids a childhood, wanting them to be able to sort of develop

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and grow at their own pace with

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us alongside of them, encouraging them and discipling them.

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And we just knew that if we really, really wanted to disciple our

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kids, we actually needed to be with them. So

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sending them off to school for 8 hours a day, five days a week just

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really wasn’t an option. I often just tell people, well, we were selfish.

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We didn’t want to share our kids. With as you should be.

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Yeah. So we kept him home and, and it’s just,

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I tell people all the time when I speak at homeschool conferences that, you know,

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homeschooling was one of the single best decisions we ever made. I

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believe it has made all the difference in the world for our family. Most of

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our kids are adults now. We have a good relationship with every

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single one of them, and we just. We couldn’t be any more

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pleased with the journey or the results.

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Yeah, it’s awesome. We actually, as most of our

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listeners know, and as you know, Durenda, we just finished the full edit of the

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movie schoolhouse rocked the homeschool revolution. Congratulations. Thank

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you. It’s so exciting. But in the movie,

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there are several shots of you and your family. We happen to capture

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your family. This was a few years ago, kind of towards the beginning of

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filming, when all eight of your kids happen to be home

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and your grandkids as well. And so we have

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this shot, a few shots in the movie of you and all of your kids

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and grandkids sitting on your front porch around a fire pit.

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And it’s so cool because we got to just kind of see

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firsthand the result of

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what homeschooling looked like in your family. And I know it looks

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different for every family, but I can really say in looking at your

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family and just in observing you, that

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God has really done an amazing thing through your obedience and

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through your husband Daryl’s obedience to have your kids home.

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And so when you write this book called the four hour school

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day and you talk about what we moms who are still in the

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thick of it, how we can make this homeschool thing work, you really do talk

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from experience, and I really, really appreciate that so

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much. So I want to kind of jump into this with. I want you to

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give encouragement to parents who are just starting to homeschool, because, of

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course, we have so many parents who are just getting into the homeschool

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world, whether it’s Covid or they’re just seeing what’s happening in the public

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school system or for whatever reason, they’re

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jumping on board with homeschooling, and they’re like, but what do I do? I’m not

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sure to do this. And they always want to bring the traditional school

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classroom into their home. So I would love for you to start out with giving

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some encouragement to those homeschool moms who are just getting started. Yeah,

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I think my biggest word of encouragement is relax.

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Relax. You are more qualified than you guys. I

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think that’s probably our big fear, is we’re not qualified because it’s something

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new and it’s something we’ve, up to this point, handed off

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somebody else to a professional. Professional, I would,

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quote, unquote but, and this is something I talk a lot about in the book,

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very affirming as far as

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just letting parents know that they actually

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are qualified to facilitate their kids education. And that

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doesn’t mean you have to know everything. It just means that

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you’re an expert in your child. You love them more than anyone.

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You are more invested in their future. And so why wouldn’t you

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be the best person to facilitate? Notice I use the word facilitate

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because it’s about if we can’t do something or we

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feel like to the task or there’s a special

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need or something that we’re not good at, we can find resources.

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I mean, parents can be the most resourceful people on the planet when it

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comes to their kids. Right? Right. So you just got to kick that parenting

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thing into gear and don’t see these obstacles as

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things you can’t overcome. Just look at them and say, okay, we’re going to figure

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it out. The other thing I would tell you is ignore the naysayers.

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At the end of the day, you’re the one who’s responsible for your kids

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and you’re the one who should, can and should be making the

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decisions when it comes to your kids well being across the board, physically, mentally,

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emotionally, spiritually. That’s why you are the parent. And then also

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remember that there will be hard seasons. Like, just expect

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it, but don’t give up. I like

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to compare it to parenting. There are hard seasons of parenting, but we

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don’t stop being parents, right? We figure it out and

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we overcome the obstacles and we problem solve. And often

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we can even work together with our kids to figure out how to solve the

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problem. Our kids can tell us a lot about what they need to learn and

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when they’re ready to learn something or not. So those would be

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my biggest words of encouragement. Love it. I like that you talk about to just

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ignore the naysayers because that, I know, is a really hard thing, especially with brand

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new homeschool parents. And we talk about peer pressure and we always tell our kids,

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you know, don’t succumb to peer pressure, but then we end up doing the same

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thing. And when we have, you know, especially when it’s our own parents, you know,

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grandma and grandpa are saying, you know, don’t, don’t do this homeschool thing. And it’s

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really always, it’s because they don’t understand it. And we under, we get

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that. That’s why we’re making a movie about it. They just don’t understand

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what it is. But at the same time, like you said, you are the

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parent that God has entrusted these children to, and

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so you don’t have to answer to anyone else. But you do have to

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answer to the Lord for what he’s given you.

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And you. As parents, we have to be good stewards

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of our children’s hearts, and homeschooling is a great way to

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do that. Let’s take a quick break. We’ll be right back.

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dot we are back with Durenda Wilson.

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You know, Durenda, your book is called the four hour school day,

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and I know that traditional school is somewhere from seven to 8

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hours a day, depending on the school can be longer if kids

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do before or after school care. I actually used

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to be an after school daycare teacher. I guess they would

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call me a teacher, but I wasn’t really a teacher at this at a

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christian school in my town. Provider? Sure. And you know, it

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always broke my heart because I would see kids who would be in school all

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day long and then their parents were running in to pick them up right at

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06:00 before we locked the doors and those kids

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were out of their, you know, out of the control of

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their parents for the majority of their day and so

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traditional school really is about seven to 8 hours a day. And

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in this book, you talk about how we can actually give the same quality of

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education to our kids in only 4 hours a day.

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And I want to say even less, because if they’re early

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elementary, of course, you don’t need, nor should you do, 4 hours a day.

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So I want to kind of break that apart and how we

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can fit in, what we really need to fit in in these 4 hours

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a day. Right. Well, I think the first thing we have to remember

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is there is a very, very large amount of time spent on

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crowd control. Yeah. So in a classroom of 25 to 30 kids,

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it’s going to take significantly longer just to get everyone moving in the right

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direction, never mind all the interruptions. And

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that inevitably happen in the classroom. I’ve talked to former

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teachers who I’ve asked them directly how much learning

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time actually happens in the classroom. They said

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a small fraction. And so really, what we’re

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looking at is efficiency because we have what is

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one of the best things about homeschooling, and that is a

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low student to teacher ratio. Right. They

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say that’s like the top, one of the very top things that

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determines how the learning goes, how successful

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the education is. And so we start out very much on the

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plus side, when it comes to that good curriculum, we get to

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choose what’s best for our child, what we want to be, not only what we

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want them to be learning, you know, in the way we want them to learn

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it, which is a biblical worldview, all of those things.

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But we can use learning and teaching methods that work the best

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for our child, because, again, you know your child

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better than anyone, and you can adapt your approach based on

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what helps your child engage in real learning. And as a parent,

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you get to, you get to be able to tell when that’s

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happening, because I don’t know about you, but I can always tell when my. When

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the wheels are turning for my kids. Like, they’ve got my 100%

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attention. They don’t have 24, you know, 20 other kids

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to deal with. And I look at them and I know when they’re doing well,

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when they’re not doing well, when they’re struggling. And this just, this, all of

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that just feeds into a much more efficient and effective

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education. Yeah, absolutely. You talk about crowd control, and

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it. We still do a type of crowd control

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in our own home, but that typically involves siblings

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and, you know, and we. But we get to control their time

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and. Yeah, and what they’re doing is when it comes to the

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siblings. That is part of their education as well. So as we’re

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nurturing sibling relationships, we’re teaching them what do healthy relationships look

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like, what’s important and what isn’t. Okay, we’re gonna. We’re gonna actually set

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aside our agenda right now to talk about this conflict

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that you’re having with your sister. And obviously, we’re not going to do that for

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every single, you know, argument or problem. But. But at the

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end of the day, if we feel like, okay, now, this is becoming the rule,

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not the exception, that there’s all this bickering going on, something. There’s something

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else happening here, and we can take the time to sort of, like, dig

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into that and really problem solve and

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conflict resolution with our kids. Now. Now, I did not go into

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this knowing all that I learned

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as I walked through with my kids. Like, I learned alongside of them.

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What does it look like to, you know, to

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biblically? Be a peacemaker. Yeah, be a biblical peacemaker.

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And it’s honestly really simple

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principles that you just find in the New Testament where God tells us how to

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treat, you know, how we should treat each other as the body of Christ. Guess

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what? Those same, those same things apply to family life. And so these are all

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the things we can just, like, just

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easily just work into our days as long as

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we’re being careful not to over schedule, not to make

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the checklist too important. A checklist is good. A plan is good,

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but we, you know, we lay it before the Lord. You know, he, you know,

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we make our plans. He directs our steps. That’s right. The steps of a righteous

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man are ordered by the Lord. So we’re yielding everything to him along the way.

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And I can tell you, I don’t have a degree. I don’t have any kind

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of college degree. I don’t even have any college experience. I have

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a high school diploma. But I can tell you that I know

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my kids, and I love my kids, and I am a professional. I have a

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degree in my children. Right. And I got that as we walked

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along. And so you, as a parent, can do the exact same thing. And I

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think that’s the biggest message in my book that I

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kind of just explain in many different

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ways that can help give parents

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the confidence to say, I actually can do this. I

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think I can actually do this because you can. You actually can.

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Yeah. And there are so many great resources out there, and there’s.

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The homeschool landscape has changed

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so much. Yeah. So what we might have, you know, thought of

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homeschooling 20 years ago is vastly different now. It’s a very

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diverse group of people, especially with COVID and everything.

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We’ve got a whole, whole thing going on here. So you’re going to be able

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to find your tribe, find your people, and get the support that you need

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as a homeschooler. And you just. You just have to work for it. Like, it’s

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not. You can’t just not do anything, but. But I tell

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you, just make some efforts and it’s out there for you. You can totally do

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this. Yeah, absolutely. You. You made me giggle a

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little bit when you said you had a degree in your children, and I thought,

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after eight kids, I think you have a doctorate. So I’m gonna call you

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Doctor Durenda from now on because that just flows, right? It

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does. It does. I like that. Rolls off the tongue. It just rolls right off

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the tongue. I wanna go back really quickly to talking about the

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elementary school years because we mentioned that briefly. You know,

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oftentimes parents bring their kids home from school or they’re just starting out with

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homeschooling and they’ve got little ones, and we’re talking elementary,

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so kindergarten through fifth grade, you know, fourth or

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fifth grade. Right. And they still have that mentality that they

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have to do school for seven to 8 hours a day. How.

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How can you encourage that mom? What should the school day. Not that,

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that you’re going to schedule out her day for her, but what should a school

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day look like for a mom with elementary aged

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kids? Okay, it’s a really good question. I’m glad you

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asked. That’s my job. Yes, that’s right.

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Well, um, when I say 4 hours, that’s the COVID

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of the book. That was really pretty much the max that our kids did even

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in high school when came to book work. Now, they were learning all the time

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because we always had a chunk of time

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every day in the afternoons. That was self

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directed from the time they were very young, they had self

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directed time in the afternoon where they got to explore, experiment,

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play, you know, work

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on learning hobbies, explore their interests, just

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whatever the creativity could just flow. That meant that

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sometimes they had to be bored, because when we’re bored, we

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reach way down inside and we start to think about what we could. What are

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the possibilities here? And sometimes that means they get in trouble.

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Yeah, but that also means then you’ve got a character issue that

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came out that you wouldn’t have known about before that you get to deal with.

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But the bottom line is, I feel like homeschooling is a

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balance of directed learning and self directed learning.

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So you want a balance of those things. And so I, we

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tended to just, this is what worked for us was morning time

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was more directed. Now, when it came down to our kindergarteners,

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I’m going to tell you, I’m just going to be honest. They did zero to

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30 minutes a day for kindergarten. Yep. Because the bottom line is

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kindergarteners really just need to be doing tons of hands on stuff. That doesn’t mean

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you have to set up stations and buy all kinds of special things, although there’s

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some fun things out there you can buy, like Montessori has some great things to,

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to that you can purchase. There’s so many great resources out there, but

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hands on stuff. But even if you don’t want to do any of that and

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you just want to keep it simple, bake with them, let them play with, play

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doh, let them color, you know, all those things. So kindergarten,

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you’re starting out there, and then you’re just slowly moving

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and easing into more schoolwork as they seem ready.

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So maybe the end of kindergarten or first grade, they’re going to

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start writing their, you know, learning to write their numbers and their letters.

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And you’ll, you’ll know. You’ll just know when they’re ready because

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they’ll let you know. Yeah, they’ll let you know. I,

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in fact, I, that became so obvious to me, I

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learned that so well with the older ones that by the time we got down

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to the younger ones, they were literally begging me. Nice to do so because they

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saw. Their older siblings doing it and they wanted to do what they were doing.

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But also, like, they were like, everybody else knows how to read. I don’t know

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how to read. I need to learn how to read. And so I’m like, really?

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It’s only kindergarten. Can we just maybe not do this right now?

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And so I would wait, and then they would be so chomping

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at the bit and, you know, and then other times maybe we’d start

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and, you know, maybe in kindergarten they’re like, oh, I really want to learn how

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to read. Okay, well, we sit down. We do maybe, you know, five days of

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lessons, and all of a sudden they lose interest. Well, it’s okay. Yeah, we, you

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know, just because we started the ball rolling doesn’t mean it’s a freight train. And

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we have to keep going like we can. There’s an ebb and flow to homeschooling.

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I think that’s something that parents need to understand every day. Isn’t going to look

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exactly the same. I think we have this vision in our heads that that’s the

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way it is in the classroom and it’s not, and it’s not that way

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at home either, because that’s not how learning happens. Right. A lot of times our

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kids, sometimes they’re growing and developing and their bodies are busy

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doing other things, and we have the freedom as

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homeschoolers and the flexibility to back off a little bit when we feel like that

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might be going on. And again, it’s tuning into those parental

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instincts, that discernment that God has given you specifically for your kids. And if

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you don’t feel like you have it, let me tell you, just pray for it.

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Yeah. And be a student of your kids and you’ll have it like that. Yeah.

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And that does not mean that mom is a failure. I think

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oftentimes we feel like if our kids are like, I’m done. I don’t want to

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do this anymore. I want to give up. Especially when they’re little, we feel like

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we have somehow messed it up. We haven’t taught them correctly, and

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we have caused the frustration. And oftentimes is

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that they’re maybe ready for a little bit of

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instruction, and then their brain has to process that little bit of

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instruction. And then they go off and they play for the next few weeks in

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the dirt and then come back and they take a little bit more instruction

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and then they play for another few weeks. And so that does not mean that

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mom is a failure. And moms need that

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encouragement. They need to know you’re doing such a good job. Exactly. And my

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experience is that when you let them take those breaks and they come

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back, all of a sudden, they’re just like, they will. They

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can often make so much progress. All the progress

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they would have made a little bit every day over the previous three weeks,

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they’ll make in two or three days. Right. That’s just how they’re wired

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at that age, will let sort of nature take its course.

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You know, God has given us these kids with a desire to

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learn. I always felt like my kids always had a desire

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to learn. They were born that way. My job was just not to burn them

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out. Right, right. So I, that’s how I saw myself. It’s just, you

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know, a lot of the time it was like, okay, I’m giving some direction, and

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now I just need to get out of the way. Right. Because they’re on their

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way, they’re doing something, they’re focused, and if I jump in and do

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too much of it. It’s more like my thing and not their

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thing. And we really want them to own everything they’re doing. We want

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them to own their play. We want them to own their choice. Now, this doesn’t

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mean that they never have a timeframe that they need to work in, but I

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think especially in the early years, it’s really important to keep

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timeframe things to things like chores and

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obedience and character issues because,

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um, they can’t really take that pressure at that age.

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They can when they get a little, when they get older, but not in those

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really early years. So relax. I just relax and enjoy

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these years. Oh, my goodness. You never get these years back, ever. Yeah.

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So savor every day. Yes, some days are hard and

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there are moments that are hard, but overall, you should

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be enjoying your kids. And if you’re not that, it’s a really good

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thing to step back and ask why. For me, sometimes it was just that

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I wasn’t really keeping the boundaries that I should be keeping with my kids

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and they were getting by with more than they should. And I didn’t realize

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it except that I wasn’t enjoying them. Right. And

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so that would always get my attention. I’d be like, lord, why am I not

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enjoying my kids? Sometimes it was me, sometimes I just had a bad attitude, you

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00:24:27,518 –> 00:24:31,166
know, but, you know, it’s worth stopping and saying, why am I not enjoying

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them? And even if it is my attitude that needs to be adjusted, too. So

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I go back to enjoying my kids. Yeah, our kids have a good way of

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adjusting our attitudes, don’t they? They’re very humbling. They’re very

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humbling. I know we are out of time for this episode, but we’re going

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to come back on Wednesday and continue talking about your new book, the four hour

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school day, and about homeschooling and just bringing this encouragement. So, Durenda,

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thank you so much for talking with me today. Where can people pick up this

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book? Oh, they can pick it up at,

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00:24:59,438 –> 00:25:02,938
well, they can go to my website, dorindawilson.com. and

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you can also, once it’s. Once it’s out there, June

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00:25:06,722 –> 00:25:10,410
29, we can, you can get it in any major bookstore on

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00:25:10,442 –> 00:25:13,842
Amazon. Anywhere else. Yep, sounds great. We’ll put those links in the show notes for

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you guys. And again, if you have not yet signed up for the schoolhouse rock

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00:25:17,506 –> 00:25:20,186
to newsletter, please be sure to do that. Go to

419
00:25:20,210 –> 00:25:23,970
schoolhouserocked.com. sign up there because you’re going to want information

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00:25:24,042 –> 00:25:27,266
on when the movie is coming out. When and how you can get it into

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00:25:27,290 –> 00:25:30,934
your hands and be able to just share it with people so that people can

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understand homeschooling and be encouraged. We’ve been, we started some

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test screenings over the past week, and it’s been so exciting because

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as we have been showing the movie to a

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few people already, we have some more test screenings coming.

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But as we’ve been showing it to people, they have said, you know, you know,

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I’ve been homeschooling for so long, and I was so encouraged by this movie. And

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so it’s not just for people who are looking to homeschool.

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It’s for people who have been homeschooling for many years. And so we are

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excited to get it into your hands, but make sure you’re signed up for our

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newsletter, schoolhouserocked.com dot. Thank you, guys. Enjoy the rest of your day.

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We will be back with you on Wednesday. Talk to you then. Bye.

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Laughing in the face of imposter syndrome and coming to you from the

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epicenter of manly overconfidence. I’m your host, Garritt

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Hampton, and you are listening to the thinking dad.

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Even if we’re able to push the evildoers and the

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totalitarians back for another generation, maybe if we work really

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hard, maybe even two generations, if they’ve got the young people,

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it’s over. I often think about Daniel’s parents,

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who you don’t hear anything about, but they must have

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laid down a foundation for Daniel to be able to go into

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Babylon and not fall. We’re in that very

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beginning part of the cycle for tough times. We’ve been fat and happy. We’ve been

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enjoying the, you know, we’re lazy because we enjoy so much freedom. We got all

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these blessings, and why would you go do the hard work? And so for a

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long time now, decades, we haven’t had to do the hard work. We’ve been living

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on the fumes of previous generations, paying the price, and we got to raise

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the bar and say, I’m willing to give more of my life. That’s my time,

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more of my money. Of course, that’s our fortune. And more of my sacred honor,

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which is my reputation. I’m willing to put it all on the line. Every single

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one of us has to be willing to do that. Join us for the first

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season of the Thinking Dad ThinkingDad.net.