SR 825: Little by Little: Homeschool Transformation Part 1

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I had posters on the wall, and we created the school at home because that’s

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all I knew. That’s what I thought. School always equals education.

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Education has to equal school. Those two things have to be the same. It can’t

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look any different. Hey, everyone, this is Yvette

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Hampton. Welcome back to the Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast. I am back with a

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new guest this week and I’m so excited for her to be here. We’ve been

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chatting before we hit the record button, and she is just a delight. And you

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are going to love getting to know her. Her name is Leigh Nguyen,

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and she is a homeschool mom of three. She’s got a blog, she’s got a

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podcast, and she is just a great encouragement. So it’s going to be a fun

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week. But before we get into our conversation, I want to say thank you to

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our sponsor, BJU Press Homeschool. If you’re looking for great

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homeschool material, whatever it is, whatever grade, subject,

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BJUPressHomeschool.com, and they’ve got something for you. They will

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equip you for a successful homeschool journey, and they’ve crafted their curriculum to

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give you the tools that you need that are rooted in a solid biblical

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foundation. BJUPressHomeschool.com. check them

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out. Well, Leigh, welcome to the Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast. It

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is such a delight to have you with me today. I have so much enjoyed

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chatting with you. Before hitting that record button, tell us a little bit

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about you and your family and what. What it is that you do.

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Well, first, thank you for having me. I am super excited, and I knew that

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we were gonna hit it off. I feel like homeschool moms, we could just get

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together. Even if you homeschool so completely differently, you can just jump right into it.

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And you have so much in common. Yeah. So, yeah, so, my name is Leigh,

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and I married to my husband, James. We married for 23 years.

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We have three kiddos. I say kiddos, but I’ve got

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one young adult and two teens, and they’re all taller than me, so. But still,

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they’re my kiddos. So, yes, I’ve got a 21 year old daughter and two

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boys that are 19 and 16. So I’ve been

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homeschooling for. I think we are in. You know how you lose track. We’re

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either in our 12th or 13th year. Somewhere, somewhere around that. We’re just kind of

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an unlikely homeschoolers who weren’t planning on doing it started out with public school and

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decided to make that switch when God called us to homeschooling after a

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couple of years. Yeah, talk about that for just a second. What

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was that transition like for you? Why did you decide to go from public

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schooling to homeschooling? Well, let’s start with why we went to

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public school. I went to public school. My husband went to private school.

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And it was just what you did. We didn’t have the funds for private school,

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so it was just going to public school. And I was like, well, I was

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okay. My brothers and I, we all went to public school, and it was great.

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Everybody I knew did. So you just did what everybody was doing. I just put

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her on the big yellow bus on the first day of kindergarten and just went

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through the motions and did it. I never felt quite settled. I felt like something

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wasn’t right. I just didn’t feel right about her being away from

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me. And it just felt so right for so many years for us to be

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together. And so she went through public school,

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through second grade. It was probably about halfway through her second grade year. And at

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that time, my oldest son was in kindergarten, and I went on a

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women’s retreat, and on this women’s treat, had nothing to do about homeschool. It was

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just a women’s retreat. It wasn’t even a mom’s retreat. The Lord spoke to me

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that night and was like, you need to bring your kids home. You need to

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homeschool them. And I was like, I don’t know about that. We had a little

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bit of a wrestling that night, and the moment I said, okay, God, I will

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look into it, I fell soundly asLeighp. I woke up just

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excited in the morning. So that transition home

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was. We waited for the rest of that homeschool or the rest of that year

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and then brought them home after that just to start a fresh year. So I

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started off with a third grader, a first grader, and a preschooler. And

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there was multiple reasons. Again, I just never felt quite settled. There

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were things like sending my second grade daughter, who’s just very sensitive and

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just such a sweet young girl, and sending her off

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in tears to school, crying because she had a test that day,

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and I would say, I don’t care. I don’t care how you do on this

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test. It’s just. It’s just something that they do. I never had tests in second

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grade, so I was like, this is really weird, but I guess this is what

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they do. They’re the experts. They know what to do. And okay. And I was

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like, I don’t really care. Not a big deal. My kindergarten, he

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was, we’ll say in ear quotes here, always in trouble. You know, he just was

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a typical five, six year old boy who was very bored at

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school. And so it was a two part thing. It was a part to

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bring her home and allow her to just be the joyful,

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the little girl that God created her to be and to

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also to bring him out of a place where he was being held

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back and held down and told that he was maybe he was going to be

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trouble. And so it was a two part kind of thing. Two reasons, two very

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different reasons. They’re very opposite children. And so it was just

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that, let’s bring them home and try this out. And I say,

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try this out. It was more of like, this is what we’re doing. There was

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never like, okay, maybe we’ll go back. It was like, it was like, we’re transitioning

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to this, and this is what we’re going to do. Yeah. Yeah. It’s funny. We

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had that same thing, too, when we started homeschooling, where I was like, this is

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the decision that we’ve made for our family. And I

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I I never felt like I was going to look back, you know, it like,

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the decision was just made, and that was what we were going to do, and

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that’s what we’ve done the whole time. You know, I just. I knew this is

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what God’s calling our family to do. And so, so that’s exciting. When you

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got started, I know that one of the things that you talk about now is

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long range vision and planning for your homeschool. Did you start

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out doing that? Uh, maybe talk through that a little bit? Because did you just

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jump in like I did, having no clue what you were doing and, you know,

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knees knocking, sweat on your brow, scared to death, like, what am

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I doing? Or were you like, okay, this is what we’re gonna do, and planned

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it all out? No, you and I are very similar. I just came home and

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I had posters on the wall, and we created the school at home. Cause that’s

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all I knew. That’s what I thought. School always equals education.

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Education has to equal school. Those two things have to be the same. It can’t

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look any different. I didn’t have friends at homeschooled. I didn’t have any

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exposure to styles of homeschooling. Nothing. And so it was

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just kind of just jumping into and just recreating.

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Recreating that. And so over the years, then as I became exposed to others

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and lots of resources, I was like, oh, this can look different.

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Yeah. Yeah. So what does it look like now for you? Now you’ve

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got two graduates and a 16 year old. What would you

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say to that new homeschool mom who’s like, okay, we’re

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at the end of a school year, and next year we’re going to

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homeschool. What would you say to her? I mean, besides obviously that

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it doesn’t have to look like traditional school, but how would you kind of coach

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her into starting a new school year? I think we

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often go into the school year and we just stay super hyper focused on that

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school year. I have to get curriculum for. As of right now, everybody’s kind of

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probably thinking and shopping and looking at curriculum for next year. And so we

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just say, what do I need to do next year? I like to look at

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it much bigger and say, because now that I’m at the other end and I

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see that the things that we did, no, it wasn’t perfect. Nobody’s homeschooled is perfect.

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But I’m so glad that God impressed upon us to spend

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time on things like character building and habits and

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all those life skills that will serve them much better as they get

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older. Yeah. And so instead of just looking at what curriculum, what do we have

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to do right now? I like to say, who are the young adults that you

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want to put out into the world and then reverse engineer that and

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education can come into that as well. So I think it’s really important for

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us to know our why. Like, why are you homeschooling? Sometimes it’s to

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get away from something. Sometimes it’s to create something. And

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it can be a combination of the two, and nobody’s answers are going to be

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the same. And there’s no right or wrong as to why you’re homeschooling, but

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then understand, like, who you are as a family. I like to talk about family

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culture. Every family is so different. And I remember thinking

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years ago, encountering families who are really into poetry and

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tea time and all this stuff, and I was like, okay, we tried it. It

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did not go well. It just was not a part of our family, and that’s

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okay. And there’s families that are really into sports. Well, we. We’ve tried. We’ve

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done sports. We are not a sportsy fan, naturally athletic, but we

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will give it a good try and really just kind of diving in. Like, what

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is our family culture? What do we like to do? Let’s pour into those and

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coming up with a vision statement and coming up with goals and really focusing just

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on overall how do I want to and what do I want to use and

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what resources do I want to pull alongside this to pour into my children?

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Because homeschooling is very overwhelming and daunting

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when you’re in it, especially in the trenches when you have kids and it’s just

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the same things and there’s the same you’re cleaning up the same thing day in

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and day after feel so overwhelming.

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They’re eventually going to grow up and they’re going to leave.

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And what are the how did you want your home to feel during that

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time? How did you want your relationships to be and

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focusing on their relationship with God and then them walking

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out of your home and leaving and having that strong biblical foundation,

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having that worldview was really important to us and knowing how

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to carry themselves as a believer. And so, yeah, so just looking at

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who are these young adults that you want to put out and then reverse engineer,

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what does that look like? Have you tried CTCMath

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CTCMath. It’s a rare find that I’ve used with my children

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for more than five years now. I have six children using

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math lessons for my children.” If you’re looking for a great online

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on activities and experiments that make learning unforgettable.

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dot we

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are back with Leigh. Leigh, before the break, you talked about reverse engineering.

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I’m like, that’s such a fun term. I’ve never heard anyone say it that way.

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But really, that’s really what we need to do. If we’re casting a vision for

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what we want from our kids, where do we want them to be after they

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leave our home? What kind of adults do we want them to be growing up?

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You know, how are they going to be serving the Lord? What things will they

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have learned? How will their character be developed?

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What habits will they have? So I want to park just for a

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minute on character building and habits, because that’s one thing that I

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think so many of us in homeschool, we still feel like it’s all about the

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academics, and sometimes we forget that it’s

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also about character building, and it’s about forming good habits

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for their lives and the home. How did you work

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through that with your kids? Well, as I mentioned when we started, I just jumped

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right into the academics and the curriculum. Didn’t even think about it. Well, you know,

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they have Wednesday night, they have kids club at church, and Sunday they have

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Sunday school, and we would read the Bible. We do things. And I was like,

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wait a minute. After time was like, I have this perfect

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opportunity that they are here with me all day that we can pour

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in. So we started with different Bible resources

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and would read through, and they listened to, like, adventures

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in Odyssey and, you know, just those kind of fun things, too. And then

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I started to realize there are some specific areas that

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I’d like to refine a little bit. Let God help me

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refine those areas and things that will serve them well. And

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so I began to explore and find some resources, and we

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just would tie that in to the homeschool day. It actually became

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one of the first things we would do. And so I began doing, like, a

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morning time with them. And it’s the first thing we would do would maybe be

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the character building. So it would be a book. It would be some type of

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resource. The funny thing is, there was one resource that I found

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at some point, and it was maybe a little dry, but I think it

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really got to their hearts, because when I would pull it out, they’re like, oh,

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no, here we go. Mom’s got, you know, we’re going to talk

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about this. And. And it was just a way also of bringing in scripture. And

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it wasn’t just me saying, don’t do this, don’t do that. It’s knowing

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why? Why should we? And the proverbs are

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a great place for that kind of information, but then just. Also

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just noticing things in their lives and knowing that, okay, I need to pour into

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that. So really just, it wasn’t a lot of me just making. And I think

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homeschool moms thinks we have to come up with all this stuff on our own.

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There’s so many resources out there, and if you don’t know where to start when

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it comes to the character building is to start with the fruits of the spirit

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and just start there. I mean, with those. And how can you just start with

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love? How can we impress love upon them and find maybe some resources or

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just look in the back of your Bible and look up the word love? And

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how are some bible verses you can pull into that? Just knowing that their

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heart and the posture of their heart was more important than

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the knowledge and maybe the ability to take tests and the ability to

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just regurgitate things and write research papers or

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whatever was. It’s more important where their heart was because they can accomplish all

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those other things if their heart is right. Yeah, absolutely.

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I love that about homeschooling, that as moms, we know our kids best,

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and we know what character development they need. We know what. What character traits

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they need to be working on, what fruits of the spirit they need to be

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working on. Right. And in a classroom, no teacher can possibly

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do that with them. You know, teachers basically deal with behavior

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modification all day long. That’s what they do. So they’ll correct your kid’s

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behavior if they’re doing something wrong, but they’re not going to take the time to

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actually help them develop godly character. And as their parents,

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we have an amazing opportunity to be able

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to look at each of our individual kids and see the things that they struggle

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with. Oftentimes. I have found with my kids that the things that they struggle with

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are the same character traits that I struggle with, because they just mimic me

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in a lot of ways. And I’m like, don’t darn it. I was just

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gonna say that, too. Yeah, it’s just. It’s, it.

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Homeschooling is a way that God gets to work in our hearts. Right, too. Yes.

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And we don’t always recognize that when we first start. We just think, oh, I

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have to do this, academics to get my kids through their schooling years,

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but it’s actually a way that God works through all of us. Right? Absolutely.

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So did you with your kids? I know this is. This might be kind

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of a type a mom question. Did you look at

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specific character traits in each of your individual kids and say, okay, this one really

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needs to work on kindness. This one needs to work on service. This one needs

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to work on self control? And then hone in on those with your individual kids?

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Or was it more just kind of an overview of, let’s work through all of

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the fruits of the spirit, all of the character traits, and let’s all work on

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them together? I would say a little bit of both. When it came to them

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individually, it would be more so me or my husband pouring into them.

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And when I would start to notice things, let’s just put this out there and

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say during school, maybe cheating on things and getting the answer book,

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and I would notice this and I would correct and reproof, and I

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would say to him when he’d be home, hey, look, this is what I’m, this

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is what I’m doing. Can you come alongside me and speak into them? So those

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were done more individually, but otherwise it was just as, as a whole.

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And with the age range, there are five years difference between them all.

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And even with every subject, if we, anything we did together, the oldest would probably

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get the most out of it and then the younger. But there’s a lot of

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repetition and we come circle back around to that.

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And so the self control, we talk about that and go on to other things,

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and then we come back again to the self control because we’d notice that that

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just needed to be addressed again. Yeah, let’s talk about habits for just a

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minute, because that’s one thing that I find, you know, that every homeschool

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family deals with is bad habits and good habits and

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teaching our kids to have good habits, to learn

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good habits. How did you work through that with your kids? Or how are you

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still working through that with your kids? Well, let me just start by saying

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that it’s a lot of work. It can be a lot of work because they

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are pushing back against it. They don’t want to make their bed. They don’t want

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to brush their teeth. Why do I have such a voice? Why do I have

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to take a shower? Why do I have to clean myself? And it just

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is, you just have to put in the hard work of just, we need to

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do these things and explaining why we don’t know why to do things.

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And I think it’s important for families to have habits and kids to

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contribute because we’re all together all day long, and mom shouldn’t

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be the only one that has to empty the dishwasher again or

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vacuum the living room again. And I saw it as a way of preparing them

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for, again, launching out into the world and knowing how

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to take care of a home, how to take care of their body. How to

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take care of the home inside and outside the home. So

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probably through the years, I probably had a lot of different ways. I

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would say maybe chore charts and stuff. I know not everybody loves those, but it

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was a way for me to not have to be telling them everything. And I

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said to them, this chore bucket or this chore list or whatever it

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was, this is the same as me asking you to do this.

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And so I need you to respect, respect this. And you’re

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expected to do these things. And there was a lot of pushback.

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And I’m going to tell you that it pays

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off. I now have teen boys who will vacuum their own room. I don’t even

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have to tell them to do such things. There’s a reward on

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the other side of just perseverance, of continuing just

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trying again and again and not just asking them

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to do things. There’s a lot of work of double checking and looking it

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over and then not making them feel bad when they don’t do it perfectly, just

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because you know they’re not going to do it perfectly, just letting them do it.

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And if there is a. Sometimes you find that they don’t put

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as much heart into it, we’ll say they don’t try as hard and you’ll say,

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hey, look, so this is the ramifications, you know. So you didn’t clean

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this dish very well. It went to the dishwasher. Now it went through and it

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didn’t really clean it off. There’s no one in there, like with a hand, you

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know, scrubbing it or anything. No one’s scraping off and now it’s dried on and

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now I have to soak it and now I have to go and clean it.

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And then they’d be like, oh, okay. To understand there’s consequences for, for

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their, for their actions or their lack of actions. Yes. Yeah. It

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is hard to teach habits to kids. I have found, you know, with, with mine

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as well, because they don’t want to do, there’s so many other better

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things to be doing than chores and dishes and stuff. So we finally

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figured out, I’ve shared this, I’m certain, on the podcast, but we finally figured out

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for our girls doing dishes weeks. So every two weeks, one of them is

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assigned to kitchen duty. And that has worked so much

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better than okay. Who did it last? Who washed them last?

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Yeah. And we help with them, too, my husband and I, you know, but

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when it’s their week, it’s their week. And then whoever’s weak it is, gets to

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sit in the front seat of the car. So nice. Yeah. Having a routine, having

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something. Doesn’t matter what kind of system. If. If kids know

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what expected of them. Right. It’s just things go just so much more

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smoothly if they know that it’s going to be their week to do the dishes.

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Yeah. Yeah. Then there’s no, there’s no fighting on Sunday night when you say, hey,

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this is your week to do this. Now they know that. They know the expectation.

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That’s right. That’s right. It’s all training, but that’s parenting. I mean, you know,

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we tend to think that if we teach them something one time, they’re going to

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remember it. They’re going to do it. They’re going to do it the way that

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we would do it. And life is just going to move on smoothly. And

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that is not how life works. And really, if you think about it,

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that’s not even how we work with the Lord. I mean, how many times does

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God come back to us over and over again and say, okay, let’s try this

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over again? Yvette, we’ve been over this. Let’s do it again. And,

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you know, he’s, he’s so patient and kind with us. And so it’s important for

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us to be patient and kind with our kids as we’re teaching them and training

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them to be humans. That’s really what we’re teaching

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them to do, is just to be humans. So humans who

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love Jesus and who are honoring him in the way that they live their lives.

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So, anyway, we have so much more to talk about, but we are out of

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time. So we’re going to come back on Wednesday, talk more about this. Leigh,

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tell people where they can find your podcast and your blog and all the fun

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things that you have going on. Yes, my podcast is called Little by Little

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Homeschool. And you can just pop into whatever podcast I’ve been listening to, type that

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in. And the website is LittleByLittleHomeschool.com. All right,

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we will put those links in the show notes for you guys to make it

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easy. And thank you so much for listening. Stay tuned to the very end to

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hear what’s coming up next on the podcast. And if you’ve not left a review

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for this podcast, would you take just a minute and do that? That is such

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a blessing to us. And it helps other people to know about the podcast and

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why they should listen as well. We love you guys. Have a great rest of

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your day, and we will see you back here on Wednesday. Bye.

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I look back now. And I’m like, it was intense. There was a lot,

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and there was emotions and up and down. But I’m so glad for all of

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that, all of that time. And so we get to guide our kids. We get

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to discover alongside them what are their gifts, talents and abilities. How

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has God naturally wired them? And as we spoke in our last

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conversation about what are some things that God really needs to work in their

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hearts? And so we can focus on those, but we can also focus on the

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really good things. I have kids, three kids that are just vastly,

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they’re all vastly different.